So much fun!

Last weekend we went camping in Mountain View, MO with Shiloh and a few friends. The weather was perfect and the company was fabulous. Mountain View is about 4 1/2 hrs from KC so when you are going that far it takes a while to pack everything up. We were taking the camper so that made it a little easier to pack and prepare. I started packing on Monday night just so I wouldn't forget anything. There is a walmart in Mountain View, but that is no fun when you are supposed to be roughing it. We got everthing loaded up on Wed night and Steven left on Thurs morning to get the spot and set it up. I went to work Thurs and was able to get someone to cover my shift for Friday so that I would be able to leave earlier. It just so happened that one of our friends that was also going camping was taking his motor home. He said that if Shiloh and I could leaver early than we could ride with him. SWEET!

So you know by now if you have read my blog at all that I always have lots of little mishaps when I try to go ro do anything. It is God's little way of humbleing me and keeping my speech pure. So this trip was no different. Thurs night when I got home with Shiloh I got a letter in the mail that was terrible news. It hit me so hard I wasn't able to concentrate or do anything but cry and go to bed early. The next morning I woke up a little earlier to get the final things ready and packed to ride with our friends. Shiloh was not her happy self so that was drama enough. Got her fed and dressed and then needed to conccetrate on packing. Yeah good luck. Shiloh didn't really want to watch TV so she followed me around pulling out everthing that I was packing up. Nice.. So I finally got some bags packed and ready to go when I realied that it had been quite for about 5 mins. OMG>>>> where is Shiloh. I just knew that quite meant trouble. I found Shiloh on my bed with my little jar of Vasoline. Yeah, it was everywhere. So now by this time I have about 30 min to get to the house of my friend. I called one of the guys and asked if he could come and get me so that we would have a car in our driveway. He said no, but that they would wait for me to get there. I went to IHOP and found my friend Jonas loading into his truck and basically begged him to take me to Grandview to meet up with the motor home. He did and off we went. We pulled in and I realized that this motor home was HUGE. I was so happy. This meant that Shiloh could play and not be confined to a chair for 4 1/2 hrs. It was awesome! I got all my stuff loaded and in a matter of minutes we were off.

This motor home was loaded. It had recliners, a couch, a dinette set, a bathroom, and a bedroom. Not to mention a fully loaded kitchen with refrig. It was awesome, much more "accommodating" than our cute little camper. Shiloh was in heaven as she scoped the place out, laughing all the way. We stopped about 30 min.into our drive for some food. I got into my purse and realized that I had left my wallet at home. "Are you freaking kidding me", I exclaimed. I was so mad and just done at this point. The morning had been me running around and I was exhausted. My friend loaned me some money and I felt like an irresponsible teenager. Who forgets their wallet when they are going 4 1/2 hrs away with a toddler? Needless to say I was really ready for Shiloh to take a nap. In order not to annoy our friends, Shiloh and I shut ourselves into the bedroom and made it our little playroom. She finally laid down and we took about a two hr nap. When we woke up we were 60 miles from our camp site. That was by far the best way to travel with a toddler in my book. I am currently taking applications for someone with a nice motor home to be my personal driver for all my trips. "-)

Camping was lovely due to many factors. 1) I love the outdoors and the smell of fresh air. 2) our friends are amazing! 3) I love our little camper and am excited to start making family memories with it. 4) I needed a break from reality. Our lives are a little stressful lately and being away from it all was just what I needed! Our campsite was about 100 yrds from the river that had clear water that you can see the bottom in. The trees provided shade and I love the sound of the leaves when the wind blows.

Anna and I hit the water on Saturday morning and it was a little chilly at first. But after swimming in the spring the feeds the river (it is about 40 degrees) the river felt like a nice warm bath. We took Shiloh in the river with us and she loved just floating. We would let her flow with the river for a little ways and she was just laying on her stomach very still letting the current take her. The river flows like a lazy river where we camp so she was very safe. I didn't let her flow down the rapids of anything. Then Anna and I along with Steven our guide :-) climbed a huge rock and jumped off. It was awesome although I fell at one point and bumped my knee. When took a break and ate some lunch and all laid down in our tents and took a nap. Steven had set up an extra tent so I laid down in it since Shiloh was in the camper taking a nap. During the day we set up the pack -n- play for Shiloh so that she wouldn't just play in the camper.

When I went to go get Shiloh from her nap I heard her awake and I felt in my stomach that she was up to something. Sure enough, when I opened the door there is my child covered in gel candle wax. She had been able to reach this smell good candle that we had on the counter and it was everywhere. All over the walls, the playpen, the floor, and all over Shiloh. As funny as it looked I was a mess because I wasn't sure if it was poisonous or not. I looked in her mouth but couldn't tell if she had eaten any. I freaked to say the least and loaded her and my friend into the truck and started driving towards town to get cell phone service. I was trying to call poison control and couldn't get through. Meanwhile Shiloh is just sitting there so quiet and I wasn't sure whether it was because she was reacting to poison or to her freaking out mother. Since I couldn't get through to poison control I called 911 and asked them to patch me through. Then stayed on the line till they heard poison control tell me that it would be alright. The candle according to there database was made of mostly mineral oil, which when ingested acts like a laxative. Yup...we found that to be true later that night. I was so relieved, I thought I would just vomit from the over production of adrenaline. Man what a mess.

So we got back to our campsite and Steven was preparing for our canoe trip. (Side note..he was worried, but once he saw us coming back he knew it was alright.) So off we went to float with our friends and a 2 yr old. Brave I know. Shiloh loves to get into the boat and we want her to love doing all the things that we enjoy outside. So we got all the boats in the water and set out for what we thought was a 2 hr float. It was something out of the funny papers for sure. I would need a whole post just to go over all that occurred, but here is a little run down.

* Shiloh talked and whined a little, non- stop the whole 2 hrs.

* Shiloh wanted lean over the side of the boat and play in the water. I just sat a little more to the opposite side of the boat to level it out and let her do it. Why not?

* Steven got frustrated. You who know him can imagine

* We had 5 adults plus Shiloh in one canoe and it was funny. That makes it a little difficult to steer and paddle. But all in all it was super fun!

* One tump in a kayak and we had to back track to help find a paddle after that tump.

* Thought we were lost and wouldn't make it back by dark only to turn the next corner and be at our camp site.

** It was so fun!!!

So we ate dinner that night and all slept after our adventure. All in all it was such a fun time and the start of what I hope will be a wonderful family tradition. The camper was a life saver in that we just climbed in and there was our nice comfy bed and when we get it all ready our bathroom and shower will be working. It is so nice! That is the basics of our little family camping trip. I am so tired now, so I am going off to sleepy land.

Blessings

Remebering 9/11

This day brings so many emotions for our nation, for families, for loved ones who are alone today. On this day not so long ago a tragedy of horrendous proportions occurred and we will never be the same.You can ask just about anyone where they were on Sept. 11th 2001, and most people will know exactly where they were when the towers in New York were struck. For me I was in my nursing class, just settling in for a lecture when our clinical instructor ran in and turned on the TV. We were struck with awe and then watching the second plane hit, we were struck with fear. I honor the men and women of our country that have and are fighting for freedom. There are no words that are eloquent enough to thank our soldiers for their service and sacrifices for our country, but thank you from the depths of our hearts.

With all that goes on with memorial services for the fallen, dedications, and celebrations on this day, I am drawn to a different set of memories altogether. For me 9/11 has a story of redemption that has wiped away many tears and brought unsurpassed joy. On September 11th 2008, at 10:52 am in a small town, in an even smaller hospital my daughter was born.

On that day, 6 lbs 10 oz of glorious perfection ,wrapped in a white blanket with a little blue stripe running it's length was placed in my arms. With tears streaming down our faces we embraced our hearts long cry and caressed her new, soft skin. It was a moment that I will not forget for all of my days. I felt like I could float, yet it was difficult to breath. It seemed that time just stood still for us in that moment, looking into each others eyes with tears and laughter. The days, weeks, and months that followed were sweet as we grew together into a family. Love brought us all together and love binds us forever.

We had a birthday party last weekend for Shiloh with two of her other friends that also turned two. Man that was a lot of kids and a lot of stain stick. :-) They were so cute just running around playing together. So carefree, so confident, and so oblivious to the fact that it was their 2nd birthday. We had lots of yummy food and some sweet cupcakes for the kids. Shiloh was quite fond of the icing on the cupcake and would swipe the icing off of any unattended cupcakes that she found. Toys were plentiful and very generous. I think that my daughter owns everything Dora and more dress up pretty things that we know what to do with. She was so happy with opening her presents yet just a little dumb founded I think at why she was getting so many. After opening them up she quickly returned to the play set that had occupied her for most of the night. It was so fun to watch her roam about enjoying her freedom and the expanse of outdoor toys. (We all brought out door play things and set them around the yard) After the party, while the adults were cleaning up, the girls were plopped on the couch to sugar down while watching a movie. They looked like they were stoned as the sugar started to wear off. It was pretty funny. It was a great party and I was so thankful to share it with my friends and family.

The Detox

Today as I woke my little toddler, rather she woke me and I finally got up to go see her playing in her crib. I opened the door and there I was met with a beaming smile that I will never grow tired of. I said "good morning baby, it's your birthday". She said " Hi mommy" and started jumping up and down. She is such a happy and endearing baby. We sang Twinkle Twinkle and then I sang Happy Birthday to her. I told her that she was "2" and held up my fingers to match. She held up her hand, not able to separate her fingers. She grab two of her fingers and with a loud happy squeal said "TWOOOOOOO". We had pancakes for breakfast and a "Nummy, Nummy". After a fun morning with her friend Olivia she was ready for a nap. After waking in a very happy mood we watched a Dora movie that grandma gave her and then we headed to the park.

She is such a big girl on the playground going all over it without hesitation and down the slides every which way. There was a small little bridge that we went over several times as she proclaimed that it was a "Tro Bridge" (Troll Bridge is off of Dora). Then we ran some errand and made it back home for some yummy dinner and a bath. Now snug in her bed, drifting off to sleep I find myself wishing that I could rewind this day and replay if over and over.

My little baby is growing up so fast and I wish that I could push the pause button for just a moment. I love watching her discover new things, learn new words, and explore new surroundings, but I miss holding my little tiny baby. Singing her softly to sleep and then lingering in the rocking chair praying over her. She isn't tiny anymore and now she just wants to get down from my embrace and go go go. I love her so much, sometimes I think that I would burst. I am so thankful to God for making a way when there seemed to be no way. For calling people to give to us in our adoption process. For keeping Shiloh healthy and safe till she was in my arms. And for keeping her safe and growing her in my home. I am so thankful for so many things as I look at my sleeping angel. Thank you Jesus, thank you!

My little beauty.

It's Been A Long Time

To all my blog readers, I am truly sorry for ignoring you all this time. Life as it is, leaves me little time to sit and blog, but I am trying to mend my ways. My computer is old and slow so loading pictures can be an all day event, much less videos. However I figured if I start early in the morning I should be able to finish a post before I go to work in the afternoon. :-) I know that everyone is anxious to hear about Shiloh and also what Steven and I are doing. Shiloh is growing up so fast and as you will see in the next few post, she isn't a baby anymore. She is so smart and very funny. She is turning into a little love muffin with her spontaneous expressions of love and her vocabulary grows by tens everyday.
I will wet your appetite with some pictures and videos then post about each person individually. This week will culminate with a very special event, it is Shiloh's 2nd birthday!!!! Here are some recent pics and a couple of videos for your viewing pleasure!

We are big time playground people! Shiloh has no fear. She goes for the tallest slide and loves to swing on her belly.


Yummy yummy watermelon!

Grandma gave her this pool and it was a hit!

I love this facial expression.

This video took place at a friends house. Our dear friends the Farrows came into town so we spent a day at another friends pool. Shiloh loves going to the pool and loves daddy's boat!

Some Just Don't Get A Chance

Today as I walked into work one of the staff told me that there was an unfortunate accident this morning involving one of our children. Truly it was unfortunate although after hearing the story I am not sure that it was an accident. The two children were fighting on their dorm and one boy slammed the door on the other boys hand and it amputated his little finger. They took him to the ER however they could not save the finger. They cut the bone and created a little skin flap over the amputation. This little guy has had a terrible year and this is just the icing on the cake. How much can one heart take? How much can one little broken, RAD heart take? Will he retreat even deeper inside to dull the pain? I don't know.

He is one of many, whose parents abused and neglected him. His little heart shut down from all the trauma and he refused to be loved. He was abused in foster care and became a predator because of it. He was adopted by a family that wasn't quite aware of what they were getting. They just relinquished their rights back over to the state. So here he is again in the balance. His case worker has been changed four times since being here and when all this happen today there were no parents or loved ones to cry on their shoulders. There was just dorm staff. Now granted we love our kids, but when your finger gets chopped off in a fit of rage you want a mom, no matter how deep your heart is buried. Just yesterday he was telling our psychiatrist that he knows that he really messed up with his last adoptive family and wasn't sure that he would ever be loved. Then this happens to him. Poor "C", he never even had a chance.

I could tell you story after story like this and much worse. My job is a hard one and in some ways you have to become a little hard to with stand the demand that is placed upon your emotions and mind. If I were to let it all hit me, I would need medication myself. There are so many in my care that need more than this broken system and over worked case workers can give them. They need healing, restoration, love, determination, resounding affirmation, boundaries, and resurrection. These kids are made in His image and crafted from His dreams. God destined them all in the womb. It is unfortunate that not all of these wombs were the place of safety and refuge that they were designed to be. Oh if my womb could have housed them all. Oh if I would have been the one to hold them on that first day of life. If someone had cared enough, if someone had know how to love them rightly. What would they be like today? Who would they aspire to be in 10 years. One of the young men here says that he knows what he wants to be when he grows up. " I want to go to prison. My uncle did, my aunt did, and my dad did. You have to be tough to make it though. That is why I am here now". He never even had a chance.

Where are the mother's and father's. Turn their hearts to their children Lord!!!!! I am just blogging because my heart aches for these children of mine. My heart is also broken because I get so busy with paper work, logs, medication orders, and such that I forget to walk these halls and pray for them by name. I get so lost in talking to case workers and faxing consents to listen to God's heart for each of them. Oh Lord convict my heart again that they are under my "care". That while I am on duty I am responsible for them and to you for them. Pray for my children here at work. They are truly precious in His sight.
Blessings

The Amazing Creation

Last Thursday I was working at St. Joes' in surgery and had an interesting conversation with the OBGYN that I was working with. He and his son are in the same practice and are very good surgeons. We were performing a vaginal hysterectomy on a lady that came into the OR bleeding pretty bad. Once we got started I stated, " such a small organ to cause such big problems". I say things like that throughout procedures just to make conversation and sometimes I learn a lot more than I knew before. So in response to my observation the surgeon said " yes, but it is really an incredible organ". I agreed and also added that it is creativity in motion. We marveled for a few moments at all the things that the uterus and it's co horts do. Then I jokingly said " I bet you two wish you had one." This got a chuckle and then a resounding "NO".

I was listening to the bible on tape, the book of Mark, the part of the resurrection. The angels appeared to the women and they went in turn to tell the disciples and the men didn't believe them. In my head I was thinking "silly boys". Then I got to thinking and I put all these things together to ponder the amazing creation that the woman is. Here are my thoughts.

In the begining God created all things. It was good and he rested. Then He saw man and it was not good for him to be alone. So he created woman. Ok- right there I am struck with awe already and we are only in Genesis. Woman was the answer to the loneliness and the complete package of the perfect creation. The communion between man and God needed one more thing, woman. As women we were created to fill a void that nothing else in all creation could fill. Now I am sure that there are some husbands out there that would say ... "I would rather take the void", but God was pleased when he made us. That is profound. Though we were taken from the side of man we are created differently and uniquely. God didn't just put Adam to sleep to make a replica to keep him company. He created something very special to knit us together. I mean if you think of all that our little bodies can do it will make your head spin. Then on top of what our bodies can do think of all the things that we thing and do at the same time. We are like a circus act.

So moving on I looked then at several of the mother's of the faith. Sarah, Rachel, even Bethsheba in regards to the miracles that God performed through a woman. The promise coming forth from the barreness, seduction and sin redeemed with a son who became the wisest man on earth. Fastforward hundreds of years to a virgin girl chosen by heaven to carry the darling of heaven in her womb. We have a womb!!! A place were two worlds come together to make LIFE. It is amazing! Out of the womb came the savior of the world. Women that is amazing! God entered into his very own creation, under went the most amazing transformation from cell to form, to tiny baby born through toil and labor. It is divine. Fast forward 30 years and you see Jesus performing His first miracle at a wedding. What else speaks woman like a wedding? Then comes to a well to speak to a sinful woman that a whole village might be saved. Then in jerusalem He saves a prostitute from certain death and is annointed by Mary of Bethany. He frequented the house of Mary and Martha and I wonder if it was conforting to His heart to be around those woman? Then fast forward to the cross and His burrial. Once risen the angels do not trumpet his ascension on the city streets, but wait for those who come to pour love and frangrance over Jesus' body. Woman, those who tend and love well. Heaven entrusted these woman with the announcement that baffled the ages. Yet when it came out of their mouths, confirming the scripures of centuries, they were ignored. Typical. :-)

All this to say that I am always amazed everytime that I think on woman and our divine place in God's heart. So many times in the scripture a woman cries out and God meets her uniquely. I am blessed to be created a woman. I cling to the promises of Hannah's cry and Sarah's laughter that became a sacrifice for all of Israel. Though I wait on healing for my physical body, the heart of a woman beats in my chest. The heart that cries out for justice and prays with longing for fullness. The heart that will take in the stranger and share with the needy. The heart that would give my last cup of water to my child and pray for the rain. We were not a side note, but the icing on the cake of creation. Fearfully and wonderful crafted in the heart of God to serve a purpose and to give Him worship as only we can.
Blessings

Here We GO

I know that I said that I would up load some new pics, and oh how I have tried. I cannot for the life of me find the little cord that goes to our camera to upload. Well then I thought I will just take some with my phone and email them to my account. I took some pics but then my phone said that it was too full to send them. I deleted some things and then got he same message. So then I was like "fine..got to find that cord". I am looking everywhere...high, low...behind Shiloh's crib, in her toy bucket...everywhere and I have come to the conclusion that our floor must have ate it. There is no other logical explanation. Our floor randomly eats things and then spits them up later. Things like shoes, socks, bobby pins...etc.. You get the picture. Ha Ha..no you don't get the picture because I cannot upload them. This sucks. I might have to buy another cord to get you the pictures. Well don't expect that too soon. Getting to the store is an event that only takes place on the weekends unless the stars align just right for it to happen on a week day.

Anyways the real reason to post is that I wanted to ask for prayer for Steve. He has several interviews coming up and would you please pray that God would open up doors to the right police department for him. He will interview with Grandview and Raytown Missouri this week. He is anxious to have a job lined up for when he gets out of school and to be honest that would help me out a lot as well. I can cut back my hours then and relax a little more. So there you have it.
Blessings!

I know, I know

It has been a while since I have shown pictures of our lives and how we have all grown. OK, I know that although you love Steven and I, most people who read this blog want to see pictures of Shiloh. With good reason since I think that she is just the most beautiful little girl ever! She is getting so big and her personality is just as big. I think that she is under the impression that she is 3 or even 6 yrs old and can do everything herself. She is a wiz on any playground and given the right unsupervised moment will try to dart off in another direction. She is fast on those little legs believe me. Anytime is a good time to play outside in her book. She loves going to the park, the zoo, in the stroller, and on the bike as long as you are outside.

We are trying to get her to use two words at a time. Things like "hold me", "more please".... she will say one word, but looks at us like we are new people when we ask her to use more than one word. Like "look this has been working up till now, why ruin a good system". Oh well..it will come! Anyways, I will try my hardest to get some new pics and possibly a new video up soon.
Blessings

Shiloh's Story

Several months ago we were approached to tell Shiloh's story via pictures and the web to promote positive alternatives to abortion. We said yes and had a photo shoot and video made. We just saw the finished product and it is very sweet. There are many people out there that have been saved by God's grace and their stories are very compelling. I am so glad that we were able to be apart of this and I hope that Shiloh's story will touch many and change their hearts towards life. Before Shiloh was born God gave me a word that Shiloh would be one that would project the Father's presence to everyone that comes in contact with her. I pray that as people look at her picture and read her story that the Father would come through it and melt away the shame, anger, terror, and uncertainty. That He would replace all that the world would throw in their way with grace and joy that He will provide for them. Pray that this website though not outwardly religious (though it was birthed in the prayer room) will touch many and save thousands.

http://almostaborted.com/main/

Getting Spring Under Me

Thank you for all of you thoughts and prayers in the loss of my grandmother. I appreciated them. With the weather getting warmer and the sun making it's appearance much more frequent it is easier to move forward and not dwell on sad things. Shiloh and I are trying to make it outdoors as much as possible and soaking in the smells of spring.

Easter was an interesting day for us. It was planned that we would wake up and go to the early service at church, then come home and take naps before we go to friends for lunch. Then we got a call that a friend of ours that lives in Israel was in town. She wanted to come by and see us before she left. I said great what time....7:30 am before early service. Oh... that is early I thought, but I love her so we said ok see you then. Well about 7:15 am my cell phone rang and it was the hospital. I was being called in for an 8:30am case meaning that I couldn't;t be there any later than 8am. That pretty much blew our little breakfast plans and church out of the water. Rose, our friend, came over and we chatted while I got ready. Then I got Shiloh up and let her open grandma's Easter basket that she sent. It was happily received with all of it's healthy snacks and bubbles. Then I went to work for a surgery that lasted till 11am. I stopped by my friends house again to say bye and she left for the airport. So much for a restful day. However we went to our friends house and ate lunch and watched Shiloh and her little friend Bella learn the right and wrong ways to go up and down stairs. There were some tears associated with that. For dinner we went to some other friends house for desserts and some Swiss Family Robinson fun. It was a pretty good day.

Shiloh is a very independent little girl. I say little girl because she looks like a little girl and not like a toddler. She is taller than most other toddlers and the way that she makes her way around the playground you would think that she was 3 yrs old already. We try to go to the playground at least two to three times a week. She will climb the jungle gyms and find the highest slide that she can and with a huge smile go do it without any help. If you try to help her she will wave away your hand and start stomping her feet. I do follow her around the jungle gym through tunnels and down the slides because I still think she is too big for her britches and would like to be close by when she finds that out. She loves climbing and is really good at it. Outside is her favorite thing no matter what you are doing. However I have found that I need to start letting her know that we are leaving at least 30 min before we have to go so that when I finally pick her up and head to the car the tantrum is a little less severe. She has been known to arch her back, kick her feet, hit, and scream when having to go inside. I have had to kick my discipline into high gear and tame the tantrum quick. I read in one of my parents as teachers papers to ignore tantrums. "WHAT????" HOW???? It is impossible to get a toddler kicking and screaming into a truck into a car seat and ignore the behavior. I think those people are the same people who are trying to figure out why their kids are in therapy now. I had Steven look up Missouri's law on spanking in public so that I wouldn't be called out without knowing what was legal. You have to be so careful about that stuff. Most of the people around here would probably call me out for not spanking her though. "-)

We went to the zoo today with some other moms and it was great. I haven't been to a zoo in about 4 yrs, and never with my own child. It was a strange feeling pushing my stroller along with 5 other moms and strollers through the zoo. We pointed out the animals to the kids and they starred and "ooo'd". The most favored attraction for them all was the playground though. They all begged to get out of the strollers and once loosed ran for the equipment like it was a huge ice cream sundae. Shiloh too headed to play and once through the first tunnel we all looked at our soaking wet kids and realized that a playground after a good hard rain equals very dirty kids. Oh well what can you do but grad a handful of pant leg, ring it out, and let them go again. It was fun to watch Shiloh with other kids. She has this weird thing about other people touching her and tends to scream at them when they try to grab her. We are working on this. She will blow you kisses, but by all means don't try to hug her.:-) This is a problem for some of her little friends who are taught by their parents to hug little friends. They just look at her like "what is wrong with you". While she is yelling at them to let her go. It is really funny! Anyways.
Shiloh did great and amazed everyone with her eating tuna fish and pickles for lunch along with Greek yogurt. I have to admit that she is a great eater. Then she grabbed another child's blanket and said "night night". Yup that is my child. It was a great day. I finished it off by getting a load of laundry washed and dried and my grass seed and hay put out. Now work and then tomorrow I start my 12 hours shifts. At least I am only on call on Friday and not Friday and Sunday like this week.



****One thing that I love for sure is when you have been out a little past their nap and you get them out of the car seat half awake and half asleep and they wrap their little arms around you and lay their heads on your shoulders. I could just hold Shiloh for hours like that.

Feeling the Loss

My grandmother Dorthea Hoke passed away Thursday March 25th at 6am. Her funeral was Saturday, but I was unable to go back for that. This is very sad for me and in the last few days it is hitting me harder. I was able to go see her in the final days and she recognized Shiloh and me some of the time. I was also able to help around my grandfathers place a bit and got to the store with him. That was nice. He is very sad and exhausted. Please pray for him and my family as we grieve our loss.

More Bad News

I would love to give you a positive update on my grandmother's situation, but I am afraid the the latest news is as grey as the Kansas City weather. With all that has gone on since she had the heart attack last Monday I am afraid that we have had the hardest blow today. On Thursday my grandmother had a bad day and they felt like they should bring in a kidney Dr. to make sure that she wasn't going into renal failure. He did some blood work and a scan and noticed something on the scan that was unusual. This led to some more test and this morning the diagnosis was renal cancer. That's right folks, if we thought it wasn't bad enough, it just got worse. Because of the damage that was done to her heart and the fact that they are still trying to stabilize her, the possibility of surgery is none. She just wouldn't survive the anesthesia much less the blood loss of a tumor removal from a kidney and worse case a total kidney removal. The heart and kidneys are so interrelated that it would kill her to loose one. It is really in the hands of the Lord at this point. I am one who believes in miracles and my grandmother is as well so bring it on Lord!

My mom called me this morning to tell me all of this and she had the daunting task of relaying that message to my dad after work. The hard thing about it isn't just that she had to tell him that his mother has cancer, but that she would have to tell my dad this and then go to work for the night. She is a night shift person and my dad would then be left alone. You can imagine how my mom felt and how my dad is feeling now. Not too mention how my grandfather who is exhausted is feeling with this news as well. This is just not going well people.

My mother has encouraged me to go to Texas ASAP to see my family. Steven and I are trying to make that happen. I am looking for tickets to fly down there and also talking with my other set of grandparents that live in Tyler to help as well. My dileman well one of them is do I take Shiloh to see her possibly for the last time? I know that she would want me to and be very disappointed if I didn't , but an 18 mo. at a hospital isn't ideal. Plus the fact that when I leave it is very hard on Steven and Shiloh. Oh Lord...this season of my life is driving me crazy. If I don't get some sunshine soon I am going to need some anti psychotics. So my plan is to fly out this weekend sometime and come back Fri. My grandfather really needs some help and they are talking about putting her on life support because of how bad she is doing. So please pray for me and my family.
Blessings

Update on My Grandmother

Thanks you so much for your thoughts and prayers for my grandmother Dorthea. After I blogged last she had a very rough night and ended up pulling all of her IV lines, EKG lines, and the arterial balloon catheter that was in her heart out. She was bleeding all over the place and from what I was told it took the nurse's a while to get the bleeding stopped and her calmed down. It might have had something to do with the Morphine that she was given. Some patients become agitated as the drug is wearing off. That might have been why she went crazy for a time and decided to help the devil out. But now she has been moved to a private room out of the ICU and her vitals are stable. The doctors are still concerned with her heart function and before she is discharged they will get final readings on what her prognosis is and what types of life style changes are in store for her.

One of those will be to limit how much water and salt she ingest. This is because the heart has to work hard to maintain hemostasis in the body, which boils down to fluid balance. When the body is in good condition this is not a big deal and the heart performs it's task without a hitch. Since the heart attack my grandmother's heart is weak and as of yesterday was only functioning at about 20%. That means that her heart isn't getting the rest of the 80% of the work done to maintain hemostasis. This leaves a large portion of the work up to my grandmother. So less fluid and salt since those two act as antagonist to each other in the body. Less physical activity since that taxes the heart as it must pump more when we are active to get oxygen to all the parts that are moving, and more rest. My grandmother isn't the sit down and do nothing type. She always has gardens to tend to, cats to feed, chickens and ducks at the pond, oh and don't forget beating those snakes out of her pond. This will be a huge change in her life and I just pray that God will give her not only a miracle to sustain her life, but grace to heal and adapt.

She likes her new nurses in this other wing of the hospital, which I am hoping will lower her anxiety level a bit. Man I feel for those nurses and wouldn't want to be in there shoes at all. My grandmother is one tough cookie and I know that she is giving the nurses a run for their money. She will be seeing physical therapy now to help her re-learn how to get about with less energy. It really is going to have to be a new way of life for her.

Lord Jesus, I ask that you would come with healing and touch my grandmother. Restore the broken places of her heart, both spiritually and physically. Come and blow upon her that resurrection power that shot you out of the grave on the third day. Come and breath life into these dry bones of hers once more. Amen.

Please Pray for My Grandmother Dorthea Hoke

Friends, last night my mom called me to let me know that my paternal grandmother had a severe heart attack and was in the ICU. I was shocked and very sad at this. She is a very stubborn Cajun woman and was feeling chest pains throughout the week, but wouldn't go to the doctor. Finally my grandfather called an ambulance to take her to the hospital. The doctors told my grandfather this morning that there was extensive damage to her heart and that her prognosis isn't good. My mom and dad got in the car this morning and drove to Texas, where my grandparents live, to be with her. My mom said she would call me with an update to let me know if I should come down and see my grandmother.

I grew up going to visit my grandparents in Texas at least twice a year for a week or two as a family. My dad's parents are divorced and remarried so we spent time with each couple while there. My grandmother's family is from Texas and Louisiana, from Cajun background. That was a wild experience in and of it's self. Always great food and lots of it. I was allergic to so many things but one thing that I was always assured of was that Grandma Dot would make me a lemon meringue pie, hold the meringue. ( I was allergic to eggs). This pie was for me and me alone. I looked forward to it with such anticipation and usually cleaned it up in the week that we were there.

My grandma Dot is a gardener of a magical sort. She could have grown Jack's bean stock if it would have been real. She can revive half dead plants off the side of the road to flourishing and producing plants in no time. Her yard is filled with all sorts of plants and trees you feel like you should stay on a path and enjoy the scenery. She has lemon and lime trees, a peach tree that she found half dead that blooms in January and she picks fruit off in March. She always says that tree is "plum confused".

She is a "cat lady" but not in the dirty way. They stay outside and eat the left overs. Trust me these cats stay close to that backdoor. My grandmother isn't afraid of snakes or terrible husbands. She treats them the same..."you beat them with a stick till they leave." She has been married to Ray, her fourth husband for almost 20 yrs and I think that he is there to stay. He is a very nice man and treats her very well. A nice note to end on that's for sure. Ray was in WW2 and has thrilled us many times with telling war stories. He was amazing.

I remember roaming about her property and playing on the front porch for hours on in. I remember feeding her horses veggies and even a llama at one point. I remember going down to the fishing cabin on the river and going out on the boat with Ray to check the trout lines. There was a huge garden at that house as well and we always ate lots of Jambalaya there.

My grandmother's house still looks the same as it did when I was growing up except for new carpet and an additional room that Ray built. All the pictures and deer antlers are in the same place. My old photo's are still in view so as to embarrass me when Steven saw them for the first time on a family visit. My brother and I are the only grandchildren so when we show up, the neighbors come to see us and see how we have grown. When Steven and I went to visit they came to see Shiloh and how she had grown and I felt warm fuzzy inside about that.

I just got off the phone with my mom and my grandmother. They are keeping her pretty drug up and imobilized because they have a baloon in her running up her femoral artery into her heart to aliviate some swelling and pressure. Of course my grandmother is saying that the nurses are being mean and that she just needs to get up. That's my grandmother. She sounds very weak and my mom said that the nurse told her that she isn't out of the woods yet. There is talk of putting her on a ventilator to let her heart rest and to get more oxygen flow. I pray that this doesn't happen. Many people do worse after they are put on a vent. Please pray that God would heal my grandmother's heart. My mom is going to wake up early enought to speak to the Dr. in the morning and give me an update on the situation. I might try to make a quick trip down on Friday and come back on Mon. I will see though. I am praying for a miracle for her.

Grandma Dot, Ray, Shiloh, and Me in her yard

Blessings

Cooper Family Update

Hello friends and family, I am so thankful that you still read this blog an care about our family. Sometimes with our crazy work schedule I find it hard to keep up with FB and a blog and email. But I wanted to update everyone on where we are and what we are looking forward to.

Steven: Steven is doing well in the police academy and is acing his test. They are doing some hands on things like arresting people and learning how to pull cars over. He does PT three times a week for a couple of hours and then they do "defensive tactics" two times a week. He will start going to the shooting range as well soon which for a guys is a major highlight. He is also required to complete so many hours of "ride alongs" with police officers that he is trying to fit into his already jammed schedule. He might have to schedule them at night or in the early morning hours which will be challanging. But you have to do what you have to do.

His online class is pretty demanding but he is making it and can't wait till his spring break. It is a constitutional law class that he has to write several papers and post online for. Steven is actually a really good write and even is English professor father commented on his excellent writing skills. It is so weird to see Steven sitting at the kitchen table drawing out crime scenes. It is a season and a whole new world that we are walking into. Steven will turn some police applications in soon so if you think of him say a little prayer that he will have a job lined up for June.

Kristi: Surgery is getting a little easier as I am remembering more and more. I actually had a terrible day last week and thought to myself what are you doing here. It was just one of those days where I couldn't remember anything. Oh those learning curves. For me it is such a transition from my other job to be in a hospital for 1, and 2 those long 12 hr shifts. You really have to work up the endurance for that. My mother in law was in town last weekend and took me scrub shopping. I got some new water resistant pants that turned out to be a life saver in one of my cases. Blood splattered all over my lower half and just ran right off my new pants. I was so happy. Taking call every Friday nights has made for some very long shifts though. Sometimes I have to work from 7am to midnight or later and still might get called in during the middle of the night. Oh you have to love this season that we are in. I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel though and I am truly learning and also grateful. This last few months has really motivated me to press in and get my schooling done. It is time and I feel that 2010 is a year of completion for us in many ways. So I have started working on my homework again and hope to be doing my clinical my Christmas. I went to Haiti in Jan. with a medical relief team and hope that I will be able to go again some time this year. Our ministry is building a free standing medical clinic there and also going to start helping people and orphanages rebuild. I feel so alive when I am on the mission field and one day I hope to take my kids like my mom took me. It is in our blood. Every generation of our family has had at least one full or part time missionary in it.

Shiloh: It never ceases to amaze me how fast time passes. Now that we have Shiloh in our lives we can see the time go by faster in how fast she grows and how much she talks. :-) When I am around other kids her age I am amazed at how many words she says and how well she communicates. We read a lot of books and she is obsessed with books. My friend is giving us a little play kitchen that I think will become a new favorite toy as well. She has about 7 words that she says very well and at least that many signs that she uses. Our live in babysitter also works with her teaching her new signs. They get a long well and I am so thankful for her. She works for us around 34 hrs a week and usually goes to friends houses or something on the weekends so that we have our house and family to ourselves. She is such a blessing.

Little Shiloh has a little temper though. If you tell her no, or take something away from her she will yell at you. It is cute, but we have to really discipline her on it. She did it to our neighbor the other day when she took a picture frame away from her. I think that it shocked our neighbor and it sure embarrassed me. Oh well, that is was the "switch" is for. Poor little Shiloh, she is just so passionate and thinks that she is so much bigger than she really is. We are so in love with her sometimes it is hard to do the right thing. :-)

Future: We are really praying that God will open doors for Steven to get a job. That will determine a lot. My job situation, schooling for me, another adoption, insurance for us, etc.... He is ready to step into his "man" role and also to go on the journey of where is God calling him to be and what is He wanting him to do. We really want to adopt again, but it isn't the season. We are almost finished with our kitchen remodel and want to do a few more things to the house this spring, but again something needs to happen with Steven's job. We are hoping to go somewhere for our 10th year anniversary and are praying that God will open something up for that as well. Since Steven and I only see each other two days a week we really want to be able to have a nice anniversary and want to recommit ourselves and our family to the Lord for the next ten years.

Well that is the short of it all. Not to exciting. We are in transition and the only and best way to be in transition is with your seat belts fastened and your hands and heart open. (Kind of like a roller coaster.:-)

A Shiloh Update

Just thought that I would update everyone on how our little princess is doing. She is now 17 mo old as of this week and sometimes I feel as though she is already 2yrs. She talks all the time and is saying so many words now. She can say "baby, hi, bye, apple, birds, see you, shoe, hat" and is trying to say "love you and her ABC's" She can sign more words than that to let you know what she wants and can also beg with the best. When her picture is on the computer or she goes to the mirror she says "Shiloh" and sometimes kisses her reflection. She helps me get her dressed and knows very well what bye bye means. She will say "bye" and then wave and blow kisses to you as you go. She runs super fast and loves to dance and sing. She loves to look at her books and try to tell you what they are saying. She is so energetic sometimes I am worn out before I even get to work after watching her. I love seeing how she is growing up. She is so amazing and everyday I learn something new about love and being a mom.

She is growing up so fastas you can see from the pictures below that her "baby" features are almost gone and my little girl has emerged.

Haiti Recap

When I heard about the earthquake just hours after it happened, I knew that I would be going. I knew that God would make a way for me to go and to help those that He has joined my heart to. It was a matter of getting there and what to do. I never expected that God would deliver into my hands a capable team and a divine invitation to reshape a nation. But that is what God is looking for right now. People to partner with Him to rebuild and to reshape. I want to be a part of that dream of His heart however I can.

When we first arrived in Haiti it was getting dark and as we where driving I was seeing glimpses of destroyed buildings. My heart sank as we passed some of these buildings and could smell death. Wednesday morning as we set out for Carrefoure I was crushed to see these glimpses full on. Every other building was collapsed on top of another. Piles of concrete, re-bar, and electrical wires lined the streets. Personal belongings like one shoe or a doll lay in the road, and people were walking around with blank stares on their faces. It was a sight that no one can prepare you for. I felt like I was on a Hollywood movie set and any minute someone would yell "cut", but no such luck is in store for the Haitian people. Instead they are rolling around huge boulders of concrete and chipping at remnants of their homes with simple hammers. Some of these people are aimlessly working because that is all they can do. Others are trying to get to their loved ones bodies that are still buried beneath. In many cases it is their children and wives that they are struggling to reclaim. Again and again the earth has quaked since that fateful Tuesday with after shocks and smaller earth quakes. Every time sealing fear and terror in their hearts of a people that already had to survive day by day. The blank look on the faces of Haiti speaks louder to my heart than the images of destruction.

The area that was hit hardest was of course the poorer areas. Downtown was almost unrecognizable to me. So many buildings, homes, and Churches were totally collapsed. I cannot imagine how this nation feels in he realization that to rebuild will take not months, but many, many years. Where will they live, what will they do for work, and on and on. Many people are seeking refuge in their home villages after loosing their homes and families. Some of these that are fleeing Port-au-Prince haven't been back to their villages for decades. This creates another problem for these smaller villages in having to house and provide for a growing number of poor and injured refugees. Hospitals are over run, clinics are under supplied and many just wait for the inevitable to happen. It is truly sad.

My team had the privilege of going into what are being termed as "tent cities". This is more like a refugee camp with make shift tents compiled of bed linens and twine. Some people are luck enough to have a tent, but most just pull together what ever they can find. These tent cities are springing up everywhere there is space. Soccer fields, school yards, even the medians of the highways. Most of these people have lost their homes or are afraid to re-enter them. So many people are paralyzed with fear that they will not even go back to their homes to check on them or to get their stuff. For many that have loved ones still buried in their homes, going back isn't an option. We saw many wounded that had not received any care since the initial medical care days after the quake. This meant that their dressings were dirty and their wounds infected. Our team decided to stay in Carrefoure for three days to make sure that these people received follow up care until the next team arrived. The needs were so great and the days were so long. We saw both adults and children with the occasional pregnant mother. The Lord prepared our team well in that we had nurses that were trained in the E.R, Pediatrics and Burns, Adult Med, and Labor and Delivery. I couldn't have picked a better mix of people to come. We worked from 8:30am -6pm with a 30 min lunch in between. We saw respitory illnesses in most everyone and lots of skin infections. So many people are troubled physically and emotionally and it was hard to differentiate the two. When you are emotionally troubled your physical bodies will display symptoms. We would see each patient treat the symptoms and then send them to our pastoral care people to pray with them and listen to their stories. You could see the relief on their faces as they talked and prayed. It was more important than the medical aspect in my opinion. We saw 14 people in 5 days come to the Lord and many left our clinic with a sense of peace that will help carry them through this ordeal. We were able to clean up a traumatic amputation of a hand on a 15 year old girl and debride a 9 year old boys ankle abscess so that he could walk again. We sutured a 5 year olds head laceration, and delivered a womans first baby on a storage room floor. We had in our hands enough antibiotics to treat almost everyone and were able to give the patients pain medicines while we worked on their injuries. All that was possible because of generous donations from those in our communities here that desired to help the people of Haiti. It was intense and sad and I will share more in another post, but I wanted to first express my heart of what I saw. There are so many images and sad sights to process through.

But there is hope in the midst of this sadness. I watched as Haitian helped Haitian clearing away rubble. This isn't something that you would normally see. In a world where you survive or die, there are not many "community sentiments." But when you ask a Haitian what he thinks will come of all this one of his answers will be "it will bring us together like never before." This is what I heard over and over. This is a new perspective. Suddenly this nation that is so consumed with living for the now must think forward and they realize that they cannot do this on their own. This is the opportunity for the church to shine. To offer your last meal and to pray in the next. To see your own lack and yet give with a cheerful heart. To lay your hand on the sick and to see God's wonder at work. This will be the bride in Haiti's finest hour. We as fellow heirs need to help lead them into glory. Praying for them, reaching out to their communities beyond just relief work. If we all put our heart and soul into helping these people see Jesus, then a nation once ruled by darkness can finally be restored to light.

Haiti Update

Friends- I am home and very tired. I hit the ground running with work and have had little time or energy to email or load pictures. However today I am trying to get caught up on all that to share with you what God has and is doing in Haiti. I am currently working on my update newsletter to send out tomorrow. I loaded a few pictures on here for you to view and tonight I hope to write an update post on what we did and what is coming next. These pictures are not in any order. Some are of the devastation, some of the clinics, and other just random pictures.

On The Ground

I don't have a ton of time, but I wanted to update everyone on what is going on here in Haiti. First, thank you so much for your prayers, I can feel it. Second, I am having a blast even though it is very hard. The joy of the Lord is my strength and the Lord is moving.
We have been working in refugee like camps doing medical clinics. People are terrified to go back into their homes or any structure for that matter so they are migrating together and popping tents. This happens in in soccer stadiums, playgrounds, church courtyards, and even the medians of roads. It is a truly terrible sight. As we drove through different parts of Port-au-Prince seeing these huge concrete structures completely destroyed my heart sank thinking about the many dead people still buried in the rubble.

During our medical clinic we have seen at least 1500 people. This have been anything from amputations to post traumatic stress disorder. It is really sad, yet in the midst of it all the Lord is showing up and the people are so grateful to God to be alive. My team is doing well and we feel very much like we are partnering with Jesus in helping His people.

I am so tired and need to go to bed, but please continue to pray for us and know that we are so grateful~

Haiti Update

I wanted to keep you in the loop as much as possible without overwhelming you. It looks like I will fly out of KC on Sun and fly into Haiti Mon. I am waiting for this to be confirmed. We are getting us on the list from the Haitian side. We will be staying at the same location as CRI teams since it is safe and supplied. We will be working in a hospital called the 7th Day Adventist hospital in Diquini. It is organized, secure, staff with some Dr. and desperately needing medical help. We will also venture out, with military security, to help treat those in orphanages and schools that are without medical care. Then we will fly back on the 1st.

Tomorrow we go around noon to the medical warehouse to pack up supplies and then on Fri and Sat. I will have the rest of the team packing the supplies and meds that they will actually be carrying on the plane with them. I am just praying and feel free to join in, that nothing will be confiscated along the way. We have about $500,000 worth of medical supplies and medications with us that have been donated. This is a massive effort to say the least. A far cry from the team that I was taking over in March. :-)

I have been on the phone every minute it seems like. Either with people in Haiti, or airlines, or other team members trying to sort this all out. Mean while I am also lining up the next crew of nurses that will be leaving the first of Feb with one of our nurses. They are getting their passports updated and all the necc. things to be ready. Oh and I have a toddler. I am trying to get every min. I can in with Shiloh because I don't really get to see her on Thurs and Fri except for 10 min before she goes to bed because I work 12 hr shifts. So Saturday I will get to spend with Steven and Shiloh before I head out on Sun. To lie and say that I am not slightly overwhelmed would be dumb at this point. I mean who are we kidding? But growing up going on the missions field and then again in YWAM and now as the clinical missions director of One Heart Ministries, no one told me that it would be otherwise. I know that God is in it all and I trust His guidance and leadership.

Thank you to everyone who has gotten involved with donations, flight arrangements, medical supplies and the like. We would be a less effective with out your support.

Thanks!

Here We Go....

Friends I have been in contact with our ground team in Haiti and what they have told me has truly made my stomach turn up side down. I wont share everything because I want you to continue to read this blog, but I will share a little with you. As you read this I hope that you will be moved to give and pray.

As they arrived in Port-au-Prince the landscape was that of rubble and dead bodies. James told me to imagine all the trash that is normally piled inthe streets and then imagine that it is dead bodies. Not only is it dead bodies, but limbs and such. From the CNN and other footage that I have scene it is hard to tell who are living and dead because a lot of the injured are just lying in the streets waiting to die. James' uncle is safe, but his house collapsed on him and he suffered a broken arm, head laceration, and lots of cuts. Our nurse Jen was able to patch him up some. There is no water, no food, no sanitation, and no power. People are bleeding and dying everywhere. You can hear people still screaming in the wreckage of the buildings. It is truly the worst thing I have ever heard of.

We do not dispair as those who have no hope. We have a GREAT God, who is all powerful and who loves the Haitian people. Was God in the earthquake? That is a question for God and one that I am not asking right now. He is in control and nothing is out of His power. I trust His leadership. He has a greater plan for Haiti and I have known that from the first time 5yrs ago that I first was there. This is the begining of that plan in my opinion. Not that God wanted suffering and despair, but that a nation who crave darkness would see a great light.

I am now reading myself to leave for Haiti around the 24th of this month with my first team. I will be taking in medical professionals and medical supplies. We will be treating all those that we can and getting them relief as we can. Please give if you can at www.ohmhaiti.org I cannot stress this enough. It is vital for us to continue to get supplies and medications, as well as water and food.

I covet you prayers at this point even more that money. I need your prayers for me personally as I am corrdinating things and getting my team together, all while still working two jobs that are about 44 hrs a week. I will have to leave my family for 7 days and be in the most stressful situation of my life. Please pray for me. Pray for Haiti.

Blessings

Haiti Update 2

Well here we are and I will try to be brief. CRI is unable to take anyone that has not taken their training. So therefore that leaves a gap for those medical professionals that wanted to go. Plus they have choosen to go to a different part of Port-au-prince then we normally work in and so this morning as far as I know, James has gone on to look his family and assess the need for help in that area. This is the area that we always work in. I should hear back again from James and Jen on what, where, when, and how.

I have about 7 nurses and a doctor that I am in contact with about going soon. We are gathering supplies and getting in contact with people. As soon as I hear from James and Jen I will know how to prepare more and when we will leave. So if you are a medical professional and want to help contact me. If you are wanting to give to Haiti in a specific way then contact me. We are going to be helping in a very specific location and then as we can with the resources that we have we will begin to move out more. Please pray for saftey and for financial resources to come in.

Blessings

Haiti Relief

As most of you know there was a devastating 7.0 earthquake that literally flattened most of Por-Au-Prince Haiti on Tues. Our ministry (One Heart Ministries http://ohmhaiti.org/) is trying to reach friends and family, but we have not had much luck.
I have spent most of today running around to different contacts and warehouses getting supplies ready for CRI teams( crisis response international www.criout.org) that will be deploying tomorrow to Haiti. My friend James Adams is going with them to Port-au-Prince, then once he gets them to their destination he will then go and look for his family. After he finds them and they are safe he will rejoin the CRI team and then return home to his family. Once he is back here in the KC we will re-group and see where OHM stands in providing aid. However the CRI team will stay there, assess the situation, and then send word back to their headquarters to deploy the second wave of people that will take supplies and such. They are expecting to send out the second wave this coming Tues. I will be coordinating with the headquarters located here in KC to get supplies and funds to the team there on the ground. Today was such a day and we were able to get some much needed supplies and we also equipped this first assessment team with first aid equipment and personal meds. Tuesdays team will take potions of the other medical supplies and so on. I am trying to get some medications donated to the organization as well out of Tulsa.

One of the biggest needs will be clean water and food. There are no filtration systems in Port-au-Prince as it is and now that lines are down it will be nearly impossible to get any clean water. I have been calling pastors and friends today and urging them to have their congregations to take up offerings this Sunday to provide that needed financial side that CRI can purchase clean water and filters. Please consider giving at their web site www.criout.org or at http://ohmhaiti.org

At this point I am praying as to whether I should go to Haiti with CRI in the coming weeks to aid in medical care of the wounded and displaced. I am scheduled to take a medical team into the country March 5-11th, but I will have to see what the assessment team sends back to us and what my team members are thinking.One of my team members feels that she is to go now and has filled out and application with CRI already. Steven and I have talked and agree on me going, I am just waiting to see when. Finances will also be an issues as I will need to purchase a ticket to get there. If you want to give towards me going just email me and I will keep you updated. If you want to go please go to www.criout.org and fill out their application online. I am going to be talking with them often and will possibly be taking a team in for them.

Thank you for your prayers and please consider giving to either of these ministries that are both connected with IHOP-KC to give not only aid to the suffering of Haiti, but the true living water that they will never thirst again.

Pray For Haiti

Today just after 4pm a 7.0 earthquake hit the nation near the capital of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. As many of you know I have been going to Port-au-Prince, Haiti for the last couple of years working with an orphanage and churches there. I have spoke with friends that say that the pastor that runs the orphanage is alright minus an eye injury and that the children are OK at the orphanage in town. One of their walls collapsed and a worker was injured though. As far as the rest of our friends and contacts there I have no idea how they are doing. James Adams, a friend and the director of One Heart Ministries which I go to Haiti with, is still trying to reach his family that all live with in miles of the epicenter of the quake. There were several strong after shocks all rating above 5.0 that occurred after the quake and a tsunami watch was put into effect for that Carri bean area.

Haiti is very mountainous and people build their houses along the hillsides cramming them in where there is an inch of room. There are no building codes so most of the time the houses are thrown together with what is available. Most structures are made of concrete and re-bar with little other structural support. Below is a recent picture of the earthquakes destruction. Many of our friends live in houses 1/2 as nice as this one.

Reports were coming in of rubble all in the streets which will limit any rescue and aid that might be transported. Hospitals also sustained damage which will leave little resources to treat the wounded properly. Haiti has always suffered from governmental instability which has crippled the country and made it virtually impossible to organize. Couple that with already starving people and food shortages and then sprinkle a huge earthquake on top and you are looking at a catastrophe of enormous proportion. I can tell you from first hand experience,that on a good day in Haiti it is hard to get around and get what you need. Haiti needs God more than ever right now. We will not know the extent of the damage until morning as there is no power right now and it is pitch dark in that nation. God come and shine your light into that nation and have mercy on it's people!!

Please pray for Haiti!!!! Pray for these people as they are friends and family.

Pastor Pierre and his workers at the orphanage

KiKi

Ronald

Pastor Abano and his family

Pastor Edward and his wife who had a stroke two years ago.

James Adam's entire family who live miles from the epicenter of the quake.

There is an orphanage on the mountain side that has 8 children. I cannot remember the name just off hand.

The staff at OMS

James' mother is the one in blue. Also his aunts

Here are some of the workers at the orphanage in Port-Au-Prince

Pastor Edward's wife

I Haven't Forgotten You

I know it has been a little while since I posted, but I am having a hard time catching up to life. I started a post on looking back at 2009, but never finished it after we attended the memorial service of a dear friend and amazing man. It was a very emotional day and I have been reflecting on it ever since. I find myself pondering this excellent man's life and wishing to be more like him. In the midst of all life we find the little things really do matter the most. How we love Jesus when no one else is looking and how we pour out love on those we hold dearest. What people think when we are gone is nice, but it is how we live that fuels those affections. How we challenge, how we love, and how we serve. This man's life reflected each of these in the most excellent of ways. He cherished and loved his family well and it showed in their mourning and in their joy.They honored him with such devotion that you left that place knowing more about him because of their love. It was inspiring. I can say that every time I was with him I walked away wanting more of what he had. Even in his death I still wanted more. His spirit and vision will live on in those he lavished it on. He will surely be missed.

In an effort to update you on our life I will try to get to the point and hit the highlights. I will fill in the details later. So here we go....

Christmas was mostly spent with Steven's family, plus throw in a little stop at a friends house and my parents for breakfast that pretty much sums it up. Shiloh was showered with love and toys, way more that she needed. I mean the toys not the love. We came back to KC just in time for more snow, and then more cold weather. Yeah! Once back in KC there was no slow entry, I went straight to work the day that we got in and I feel like I haven't stopped. I still work at the children's home Mon-Wed 3-11pm, but now I also work at a hospital in surgery on thurs and fri. from 7a-7p. Let me tell you it isn't a cake job. I work my tail off.

So where were we....Oh yes, so Steven went to police academy orientation and man he got an ear full. Yesterday was his first official day and today was what they refer to as "hell day". Imagine police officers yelling at you as you do push up after push up, after push up, telling you to just quit and go home. Well it didn't stop there. It was three hours of grinding PT and 5 students quit. Steven said there were about three times that he thought about quitting. I would have kicked his butt all the way back had he quit. He came home with severe carpet burns on his knees and as sore as if he had a wreck yesterday. I sent him to bed with 800 mg of Ibuprofen and 60mg of muscle relaxer. He should sleep fine tonight. :0)

Shiloh is doing well. She has been going to our friends house during our working hours and she seems to really like it. If we could afford it we would take her there all the time. However in true "God fashion" I have a praise report. God has provided for us to have someone live with us to take care of Shiloh in exchange for free rent. Her name is Talia and I will introduce her to you at another time when I can do her justice. I think that it will be so wonderful and I am so thankful that I don't have to drag my little lamb out in the cold at 6am anymore. Talia will watch her while I am at work until Steven gets home. It is the most perfect situation I can think of.

I cannot really think of much else other than I am so grateful! I am so grateful that I have a roof over my head and I am warm when so many are not. I am thankful that though 44hours is long and I feel every minute of it, I know that I have a jobs that will get us through this next season. I am so thankful!! Steven and I are in such a season of transition and I feel that in starting this New Year transitioning to what God has in store for us is a new beginning. The hill is steep that we must climb and the hours are long and tiresome, but the outcome is glorious and I can't wait.

Blessings