Praying For A Call This Week!

We are in that agonizing place of waiting. There are so many unknowns on this adoption roller coaster ride. You are not sure who, what, when, where....you kind of know the how's. :-) People ask me how the process is going or how is little baby Cooper doing. I tell them the process is waiting and I hope that my baby is growing. It is a strange thing to say, but somewhere out there another woman is carrying our little Cooper. Eating and drinking (healthy I hope) to provide nourishment for our baby and thinking about the hard choice that she is going to have to make. I cannot control her circumstances just like I cannot control mine. It is surreal to be sure.

I am asking the Lord that we would get "our call" this week. We have about 6 applications out there with multiple agencies. So it shouldn't be long before something happens. We have some friends working with our same consultants (www.christianadoptionconsultants.com), Tracie Loux and they were matched and got custody of their new little baby this last Friday. An adorable little boy born prematurely, but just for them. I am praying that just as quickly as they were called we would be called and that we would just know that it was the one.

Would you join us in praying that this week we would receive "our call", that we would be introduced to our little one. We are grateful for your thought and prayers!

So Many Ways to Walk Out Humility

Don't you just love when God gives you little opportunities to walk out humility and you botch it really good. I mean how hard is it to just bite your tongue or go the other direction? Well if you are human it is very difficult. Our fallen nature propels our response according to corruption. That is why in Galatians 5:16 it says "walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh". It takes God in us to love God, and it takes the Spirit of God in us to live for God. The more God we seek the more we become like Him. We emulate those we are around. If we are around people who talk slow with a southern draw, pretty soon the word "right" starts to sound like "riiiight". It is just the way that our human nature acclimates to our environment. So when we sow to the Spirit we reap in the Spirit. (which is eternal life Galatians 6:8)

So having said all that when the opportunity to flash our flesh comes along, we are to simply ask the Spirit to lead us in a "flash free" zone. To take us out of the situation and into His presence. That can be as simple as shutting our "trap". Or saying thank you even though you are not really thankful. Maybe serving someone even though you know they are going to complain about it no matter how perfect it is. All these are exercising our spiritual muscles. Walk by the Spirit, or imitate the Spirit. Well the Spirit was sent by Jesus, so they must be friends. So imitate Jesus, who is the "hope of glory" within. They all are one in the Trinity, so whether you say walk by the Spirit or imitate Jesus, you are really saying don't rely on the human corruption that you were born into but by grace overcome. Grace is not there to sin even more, but to empower you to leap over the mountain and land on two feet. I never want to be caught in the trap of using the concept of grace to relieve the conviction of sinning for convenience. Grace is the power from Heaven to live like we are sojourners in this world and not permanent residents. The mystery of grace is answered in mercy and that is answered in love. We hope because we believe in the resurrection of the dead. That as our Lord was, so we'll be because we were adopted. Signed for with blood, and sealed by Holy Spirit. We do not have even one reason to continue as if we didn't already have the means to succeed. We have everything for life in godliness, we just need to exercise harnessing its full potential.

It isn't the simple road. It isn't a parade route or a two lane highway, but I have never read that it was supposed to be. I am just hacking through this narrow passage way, trying not to botch to many opportunities to grow in meekness and love. I am hoping that like the yellow brick road it will lead me home.

What Is Up With Baby Stuff

It is funny to think that in two months we will have a house full of little baby socks and toys, and stepping over piles of little laundry. I cannot tell you how surreal it is when you don't have any outward reminders. (i.e. like a pregnant belly) No matter how odd it seems, the fact of the matter is that it is closer than we think. I have already started to register for items that I know that I need at Wal-Mart.com, Target.com, and Toys-R-Us. Some things I may never use, but as a first timer looking at all this foreign merchandise I think I did pretty well. The hard part is not knowing what the gender of our baby will be. We are starting to feel a particular one pressing on our hearts, but truly only the Lord knows what our future holds. We are open, and open we will stay. I don't want to ruin the moment of hearing my babies gender by having built up false expectations.



I am shocked and surprised at how this process has gone and how quickly it will come to a close. You can read as many books and listen to a million adoption stories, but your own will be a journey that you will write and it will separate you from normal life forever. We literally could have a baby by the end of May and early June, I cannot even fathom that. I am still praying that God would work in my heart that surety of "that is my baby". I want to know without a doubt when I get the call. Many women take a test and wait to see a + or a -. I am waiting on a phone call to say "yes, submit us", or "no". You cannot even know what a hard decision it is to make. What is my criteria for my decision? What will people think of me? What will our family say? I cannot explain the emotions that surge through your heart when you hear a voice on the phone say "we have a situation that we want to present to you". O Lord help us and give us peace knowing we are in Your hands.




I know that several of our friends both here in KC and back home want to throw us baby showers to prepare for our "mini Cooper". I am looking at my calendar and trying to figure out when all that can transpire. Please be patient as I am still trying to wrap my head around this monumental, life altering reality. We love all our friends, family, and blog readers. You are helping us with your comments and prayers. Thank you!

We Are Going To Have A Garage Sale!

Well it is that time where people will wake up at the crack of dawn, grab a paper, and head out to strangers houses to look through their "junk". My mother always says that "one man's junk is another man's treasure". Well then I have quite the assortment of treasures and I bet you do to. So in order to help those looking for treasure and those looking to dispose of junk I propose a garage sale.

Steven and I still need about $6,000 for our adoption, so we thought we'd do a garage sale and see if we couldn't hack away at that amount. So if you live in the KC area and have stuff that you would like to donate to a worthy cause consider my driveway as an alternative to the thrift store. My garage sale will be May 2ND-3rd. I will be collecting stuff all the way up to the night before and will even come and pick it up if you need. I have made some good money at garage saleing and they are fun to. We had a multi-adoption family garage sale a few weekends ago, however we all decided to give the proceeds to another family that was in need with their own adoption. This sale however will go 100% to our adoption. So open the closet doors and see if there is anything that you would like to see gone and we'll do the rest.

It All Comes Down To God

I want to thank you all for your prayers and comments. We feel loved and lifted by your care. We are learning a great deal about ourselves and also about the struggles that adoptive parents face. We are in that tug of war, where we must decide what our future looks like and how to implement that. We don't want to be picky, but we want to set boundaries on our options at the same time. We don't care what people think about us, yet we want to hear input. It is a tug of war and the fear is that our little hearts will fall in the mud. It all sound so metaphorical, but it is overwhelming. The emotional strain that this process can put on a person is weighty. I have to keep going back to the truth that it really all comes down to the Lord. He is our Father and we trust His leadership. Our problem is that through the emotional chaos it is hard to hear Him clearly. Our heart and mind say one thing and we are leaning in to hear what our spirit is saying.

I am feeling overwhelmed and pressured in light of recent phone calls from agencies. I want to have peace and clarity and not to worry about anything else. Oh Lord help us not to get lost in this, but to find more of You and more confidence in Your plan for us. I am sure that it isn't so complicated for others, or maybe it is. I am a pretty transparent person and tend to take things to heart. So I guess I am doomed to complications in my own mind.

I am glad that we have friends, family, and the people who have checked into our blog and left encouraging comments to walk along this journey with us. Can you even imagine the day when you type in our blog site and there at the top of the page is a picture of the most beautiful baby that you have ever seen and it's last name is Cooper!!! I cannot wait for that day, can you?

The Hard Choices

It is that time in our adoption process where agencies are starting to call us and offer us situations. With several agencies calling, I know that it is going to be a difficult decision. I know that God is in control and that our baby is out there. I am praying for Steven and I to be in total unity and we will just know. Right now three agencies want to submit us to about 5 situations. Our case worker, who did our home study, called today and there is another agency in Kansas that has a situation that she thought we would be interested in. It is exciting and nerve racking to think that in just a few months we will be holding our little one.

Pray for us in this time to know Gods heart through this process. That we would be in total unity when we get the call that could change our lives forever. Pray for our birth mother and our little one that God would encounter then and angels around them.

{Small note to this post. Not every situation that agencies offer us is the best. Some are too expensive, some do not fit with in our profile, some have too many unknowns. Some are just calling to say they have this situation, but need more paper work from us. Some by the time we make a decision the birth mother has changed her mind. We are trying to be wise and listen for the voice of our Heavenly Father.}

I Am One of "those people"

I have often said this little phrase that I realize now I will live to regret. Five little words that I thought were embedded in my core and that I could rely on completely. What is this little phrase that is haunting me now? "I would never do that." Have you ever said that about anything? I have, plenty, but now I have become one of "those people" that I said I would never be. Let me tell you the story of the day that I crossed over the fence into "those people".
On Sunday April 5th I got up early before church and started doing some house work. Steven had to play both services at church so I decided that I would go to the second service. I was washing clothes and cleaning up a little and was a little proud of myself for being so productive. I let my dogs out to go potty and as I was in that process realized that I could also use a little potty break. Now our dogs have been bad and jumping out of our fence. So I knew that I shouldn't have left them in the backyard unattended, but nature called and I silenced reason for reaction. As I was walking out of natures closet I heard the wooden fence on the side of the house shaking and there were my dogs running away. "Crap!" I went and got shoes on and got in the car to go after them. I drove around and around and I couldn't find them. So I called Steven and he said to wait and they would come back. Well about and hour later I saw a strange vehicle pull up outside. The first thing I thought was great one of my dogs has ate this ladies child and I am going to jail. :-) She inquired whether the white dog staking my fence outside was mine. I said yes and asked if she had seen the other one. Then my stomach quivered as she said "I think it was hit by a car". Now this shocked me, but I knew that it had happened. I had been looking for them and had a little picture flash before me that Dakota had been hit and Nia came home.


So I jumped in my car and followed her to the place that she last saw them. Obviously Dakota was still mobile because she wasn't there anymore. I drove around a little and then found her hiding behind someones little shed. As I pulled up she came hobbling to the car. I knew something was wrong. I felt of her leg and it was a definite break. I took her home and basically went into hysterics. I called my husband and my parents. I called some vet. clinics and animal emergency rooms to see what I was looking at. Steven was saying that we would have to put her down due to the financial side. My dad was crushed that his little girl was hysterical and told me that he would drive the 4 hours to help me do whatever and he would pay. I was just ridiculous. He finally told me point blank take her to the vet and at least get her checked out. So off Steven and I went.


They checked her out and came back with a diagnostic estimate of $500. I choked. We said that we couldn't do that and they came back with $160 to give her pain meds and send her home. I was desperately grabbing at straws and decided to call a friend in Arkansas that is a vet and ask what to do. We called him and through a few phone calls he told us that he would fix her for $400 and give us the medications. The clincher... I would have to drive her the 4 1/2 hours to see him in Arkansas. It was a tough decision and we certainly don't have that type of money. After hashing through the situation and my emotional state, Steven consented to it. We had the dog E.R give her a pain shot and with in and hour I was on the road with a doped up dog, heading to AR. He met me at his clinic and gave her an epidural for the pain in her spine that would last through the next 72 hours. Then Monday morning he did the surgery to fix her leg. Nothing else was wrong with her and the break was pretty clean and enclosed. He used his power drill and put in 6 large pins and applied a plaster molding over them to secure the leg. She will have that in for 6-8 weeks. She is on antibiotics and an anti-inflamitory. Dr. Carl kept her for 24 hours to monitor her and I drove home on Tuesday morning. I got home around 1:15pm and was at work by 3pm.

There you have it. I am one of "those people" who spend money on their animals as if they were their children. I never would have done such a thing a year ago. I grew up in the country and can't tell you how many dogs we found, raised and buried at our house. If they got sick they took a walk in the woods with dad. The only one who would return from those walks was dad. Now if there had been more wrong I wouldn't have done it, but it was just her leg and I couldn't just shoot her. I just attribute it to my gratefulness to Dakota my dog. She has been a great help for me in emotionally grieving the loss of my ideal family. When you are little you think your life will turn out like "this" and you'll have this many kids. Well it didn't happen like that and Dakota has been sort of a replacement idea. She hangs out with me when Steven travels and keeps me company when I have been lonely. I am glad that I had her fixed up and can't wait to see our children growing up with her as the family pet. I think I will be glad that I became one of "those people" in the end.

Adoption Garage Sale

This weekend we took part in a multi-family garage sale with some other IHOP families that are adopting. We passed the word along and had friends and family donate items to sale as well as our own stuff and we would then split the proceeds between the four families. Word spread fast and we had so much stuff to sale. All types of furniture even and air hockey table. Lots of clothes and the usual stuff you see at garage sales like Christmas decor and old books. So bright and early Saturday morning(6am) I got up and headed out to the garage sale. As I was driving I noticed that a few of our signs had fallen so I checked them all. I got to the garage sale and things were ready from the day before. 7am a few die hard salers drove up and started scouting the stuff. After 9am though not many were coming. So a few of us went out for reinforcements. Neon signage and standing on the corner with signs. I bought some balloons and hung them from our street sign. That caused business to pick up a little.Some of the families that participated are true geniuses. They got out the grill and made up hotdog deals with chips and a coke. I think it would have been a smash if our sale had been a few weeks later in "the season". At 1pm we decided that everything should be half off. That helped sales as well. Then Kelsey came up with a brilliant idea using the millions of target bags we had. "Fill a target bag for a dollar" We had so many clothes that it would have taken us ages to cart them all to Goodwill if they didn't sale. Well I think that was the high point of everyone that came to our sale. It sure took care of the bulk of the clothes. Most of the larger pieces sold. Steven and I bought a queen size mattress/ box springs and a nice entertainment hutch for 50 bucks. We got it for down stairs for when guest come to stay with us. I also got a little wooden zoo animal pull toy for the baby. I couldn't resist a good wooden toy.Well then I though "hum.. what am I going to put the babies toys in?" So I saw this great large basket and picked it up for $2.00. I thought that we had hit the jack pot, til later when trying to get the box springs downstairs we realized it wouldn't fit. So if anyone needs a queen sized box spring come and get it.

All in all it was a good garage sale. Each family is walking away with a little over $300. There was still enough stuff to hold another sale so we are all talking about collecting again and giving it another shot. I think we might have rushed the "season" for garage sales by a couple of weeks. I think in two or three weeks the die hard salers will be out in force. I'll let you know!

Applications Everywhere

Unfortunately for us the babies that we were looking at have been matched with families already. This is a great thing for those babies and families though and we are happy for them. So now we are just going to send an application to each of the agencies that our consultant group works with and let them call us about particular situations. There is a stack of applications on my kitchen table that we have to fill out and none of them are less than 5 pages. FUN!!! This has been a pregnancy of hopes and dreams and will be a birth on an ocean of paperwork. Lord forgive us for all this unrecycled paper.:-)

I was a little disappointed to hear that the little ones that we had looked at for a few weeks were not available. I had to take a step back, but I just had to remember that the Lord knows. I am trying, like always, to keep my head above the waters of emotions so that heart ache can be spared whenever possible. We have some friends who were matched to a baby and yet they came home without her. They took a risk in a state that has a 10 day revocation period and the mother changed her mind after 5 days. That is rough and we told ourselves that day, that we are not going to take that type of risk. There are babies in Missouri and Arkansas that are needing homes, but the thought of holding them in my arms only to have them taken away is more than I can handle at this point.

So we are filling out more papers and trusting in our loving Father that He has a plan and it is going to be amazing! Continue to pray for us as we hold our hearts out and up.

It's Here!!!!!

It is finally here! We have our home study after much prayer, confusion, and hand holding by our consultant. We finally have the document that propels us forward. This is a huge relief to us as well as the key that can unlock more finances, and coupled with our profile, birth mother's will choose us from it. This process has been lengthy in comparison to some, but relatively quick considering that we officially started in January. I have been a little on edge about it, due to the seeming never ending questions and "one more thing" type emails. It is typed, at my house, and ready to be sent out. I have filled out the first of the agency applications and we are hopefully going to send it all out on Thursday. I am so excited!! We are finally doing it. We are approved and out of the "maze". What a relief!

We have been looking with expectation at some babies that we will submit ourselves to. Once we send off the paper work it will take the agency around a week to process us and get back to us. Then we will ask our profile to be given to a specific situation. It is in the Lord's hands and has been from the beginning. The seed of adoption that the Lord planted in our hearts, that has sprouted and is now just barely above the ground is being tenderly nurtured by His perfect faithfulness. Pray that the Lord's perfect will for us would be done without delay. Pray for our destiny! Thank you for standing with us through this process. Bless you and keep praying!!!