My little Gypsy

Shiloh loves when we put hats or other things on her head. She immediatly will go to the mirror and look at herself. She loved this red scarf so much that she left it on her head for almost an hour. It was so funny. She would wave her head around like it was her hair.The blue bath robe tie that is around her shoulders was an accessory that she added later on of her own accord. She cracks me up!

Quick Update

Well here we are, another week has flown by and now it is the week of Thanksgiving. I am thankful for this and yet there is some sadness associated with it. This means that my little lamb is closer to two and closer to growing up on me. I think that I shall pass out the first time that she says a real sentence to me. It is also the first times that I haven't been home for the holiday. This year we are just not in a place that it is possible to go home. So we are going to press on and make it here in KC, the best that we can. That may not include a home cooked meal and lots of lounging around on my families couches with turkey coma, but we will have a meal and I am still hoping for a nap.
Just a note on Shiloh...she is almost completely well. She has a little cough that is lingering but other than that she is her bright and cheerful self again. She has no fever and sleeping through the night to my great relief. We gave her last breathing treatment the other day and sent that machine packing. She had her first shots and not troubles on that end as well. All the little things that worry parents come and go I am learning. You just have to take them one at a time and breathe in between. Sometimes I imagine it like the football drill where the players ram those post things and try to push them back. That is what it is like when your child is sick and then when you have drama on top of that. But all better now. Breathe.....

We are waiting for some papers to come through for Steven's final acceptance into the academy. After that he will have an orientation in December and start the academy on Jan. 7th. I will start my second job on Dec. 14th working two 10 hr days in surgery and taking call on Friday nights. I used to work in surgery when we first moved here so it isn't like a whole new set of skills that I have to learn. I just need to dust that part of my brain off a little. :0) I took a tour of the OR today and saw some familiar faces and a lot of new ones. It will be interesting and I will try to blog my way through it.

Other than that I haven't got much to tell. I will be posting a cute little video tomorrow and pictures of my finished kitchen sometime this weekend. Stay tuned!

Today

Man I am really posting lately or so it seems. Today was one of those days that I think is worth remembering because God saved my life. For real saved it from possible death or Steven's death. Here is the tale........
Steven got the truck inspected last week and it failed because of some kind of gasket thing. The auto place told him that it would cost $600 to fix it. (Well, just put that on our tab, I thought when Steven told me.) So Steven spent all of this last weekend taking the engine apart trying to fix it. When he finally got to the part that needed to be changed, there was a stripped screw that prevented him from going any further. I felt so bad for him because of the labor that he spent for nothing. He had the truck jacked up and the engine out. It was not such a happy day. So one of his friends told him about this place in Harrisonville, MO. that would probably pass us no problem. [Now this gasket thing isn't that big of a deal but will eventually need to be fixed. We are not trying to be unsafe.] Harrisonville is about 25 min south of KC and the appointment was at 8:30am this morning. All good and fine unless you just got home at midnight from a stress filled day at work and your daughter thought it was mommy /daughter hang out time. Anyway, I got up early and we were out the door by 8am. As we were driving I felt that the truck was a little shakey but chalked it up to the gasket thing and that I don't normally drive the truck, so how would I know. I got to the Harrisonville auto place and he quickly put the truck up on the rack. Then he calls out "does your husband have a large insurance policy?". For the love...what now? I said I don't know and he called me into the back part of the shop. He asked " when was the last time this front tire was off?" I told him this weekend and he shook his head. "Well you are lucky!" He then started to shake the tire and it almost feel off the truck. " Mam you forgot to tighten the lug nuts all the way. You could have had a serious accident". My heart just about fell on that garage floor. Here I was with my little lamb at 8am driving 25 min on the hwy with a half on tire. I called Steven and let him know what happened. Of course he felt terrible about it and said that he must have been so distracted. Well praise GOD that Heaven wasn't!!!!
The mechanic finished the inspection and tightened all the lug nuts to be sure. We passed!! That means that we wont have to figure out how to pay someone $600 that we sure don't have, or how to make it with just one car. Oh thank you Lord!!!! Spared my life and our wallet. Now that is mercy.

Just another day in the life of a Cooper.

Doing Better Today

Shiloh had a little better night and this morning was in a much better state. I was able to get off work early last night and be home with my little sickie. We started breathing treatments last night every 4 hours and I think that really made a huge difference. She had a couple of coughing spells during the night, but she was not struggling to breathe. This morning she ate a little and played hard till about 11am. Then she just fell apart and started coughing and wheezing again. I gave her the breathing treatment and rocked her to sleep. It isn't often that I get to hold her asleep anymore (she likes to just lay down to go to sleep) so I took advantage and just sat there with her. She is so beautiful! She slept for about 2 1/2 hours and when she woke up she was so adorable and cuddling. A friend of our is watching her tonight for a little while while Steven studies and does his homework, and I am going to try to get home to give her another breathing treatment before she goes to bed.
Oh these days...I just keep thinking of the verse James 1:2-5 "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
Also..
Ecclesiastes 7:14 "In the day of prosperity be joyful, But in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, So that man can find out nothing that will come after him."

Lately with all the stress and chaos around every corner I just want to sit down and cry. Then I think of the verse in James about the testing of your faith producing patience. I think that if we do what we want to do in taking orphans in and putting them before the Lord, we are going to need all the patience that we can get. How else do you get patience, except through trials. If there is an easier way please let me know.
Lord help me to let patience have its perfect way in our home, our lives, and in my heart during this next season. I need your wisdom and your grace...come to us in this season of pressing through every hindrance to the goal.

Shiloh is Sick

Shiloh has croup and was up most of the night coughing and struggling to breath. I drove to the ER after finding her in he bed gasping for air and barking like a seal. Before I left, I gave her a breathing treatment that seemed to kick in as we got to the ER. As a mother and a nurse I was so conflicted over what to do. As the mother all I could see was that my daughter was struggling and needed help. As a nurse I knew that there was more at home that I could do for her to get her through this. I sat in the waiting room contemplating the choice to stay and be seen at a huge expense or go home and see how we do with a few more home remedies. I choose to go home after I called a good friend who helped my heart to calm down so that my head could get a word in. It is so funny that if it were anyone else's child I could have rattled off what to do in a heart beat. But when I see Shiloh laboring to breath everything got fuzzy and my mind was a blank.

We came home and steamed up the bathroom for a little moist heat to help open up her airways. Then we got some ice water and a paci and started our long night. She coughed and struggled till about 5am. I took her outside to breath the cold air and that seemed to stop the spasms pretty good. The cold acts as an antinflammatory almost to relieve the cough. So I jumped in bed for a few hours then woke her up to feed her this morning. Her cough is less, though I know that it is worse at night. Right now she is sleeping with some Motrin and Cough Elixir in her system. So say a little prayer for us if you think about it. I have to go to work at 3pm and Steven will be on deck. I am thankful that my mom was with me this weekend. She gave me a little respite this morning to catch some zzzzz's.

Just Another Day In the Neighborhood

I love that God has positioned our house right between IHOP and the HWY. I know that sounds funny but it seems so purposeful to me. I love IHOP...what it stands for, what we do there, I just love it. I am so grateful that I can walk there with stroller and baby in tow and spend my mornings joining in with prayers and watching my little Shiloh dance with angels. I also love that we live next to the HWY. Well a few blocks away. It reminds me of moving forward, of things that are coming our way. Now the rest of this post is completely unrelated. :-)
Today I had to teach a medication certification class at Spofford. It is to train the dorm staff that will be administering meds everyday. It is an 8 hr class and one that you would find very boring, I do. I try to make it as fun as you can make that type of thing, like throwing in jokes between teaching policy and procedures. When I got to work I sipped on my coffee and nibbled on my pumpkin bagel till the manager on duty came into my office to let me know that a serious medication error had occurred. I immediately started ordering things and getting vitals. I called the Dr. to get more advise and let my director of nursing in on the situation. It was 8:45am and my class was scheduled to start at 9am. Whoops! So as I was assessing the resident, looking over her chart and talking to the Dr. I started to stress. The resident was fine and the Dr. said that we just needed to observe her and to let the Dr. know of any changes. Then my boss tells me that I have to call the family and let them know of the situation, and also I have to write a serious occurrence document and fax it in to the state, who will then investigate it. Yikes! I took a deep breath and call the mother and as nicely and as professional as I can I tell her the facts and that her daughter is under my care and I will look after her. She took it OK, I mean can you imagine such a call at 9:30a? I type up the serious occurrence form and fax it to the state. Then I write my report and chart all that has been done. By this time it is almost 10am. Now in my frazzled state I go up to teach my class and realize that I have forgotten my teaching stuff. So I go back down the stairs get everything and start teaching at 10:15am. Crap 1 hour and 15 min behind. So I am teaching to my best ability making sure that I drill the proper medication administration procedures into their heads. All the while I am thinking about this poor little girl and what will happen to her. Well lunch comes and I check on our girl. She is doing fine minus a really bad headache. Then the manager on duty come to me and tells me that one of our girls ( a cutter) is wanting to hurt and kill her self. Great! So I am monitors my first situation, now contemplating what to do with the suicidal girl and all the while needing to finish teaching my class. It was an interesting day for sure. At the end of my teaching around 6pm I had a lady that has worked at Spofford for 7yrs tell me that out of all the med classes that she had attended that mine was the most informative. Oh I hope so! I then went to my office to finish charting on my first situation and to check on the cutter. She was better PTL. I clocked out and came to my awesome family to relax. I didn't get to relax at first, but now that everyone is in bed....I feel so much better. Stay tuned for more drama as I will be interviewing to scrub in surgery part time next week.

What Next?

(Disclaimer: Starts out rough, but I praise God in the end.)
When it rains it pours is an expression we use when people seem to be running into walls everywhere they turn. People get out of one mess and then they land smack dab in another one. The plumbing is messing up in your home, then your roof starts leaking and the saga goes on. Well if that statement holds true then I would have to say that in the Cooper house, when it rains, it tsunami's. We are not just hitting walls, we are having to make them and then run into them. It is a nightmare to think that you are about to breath fresh air only to be shut up in another little cell without windows again. To many metaphors? Ok, here is the raw version.
We are barely hanging in here. That is really raw isn't it. Well you know me, and that is me...raw and uncut. If it wasn't coming up $500 short for the roof, then it was the wrech that Steven was in...in the car with liability only I might add. If it wasn't the car wreck, then it was the court and lawyer fees of $550 that we had to pay. If it wasn't that then it was the plumber that we had to pay to fix something that my husband later told me he could have done. If it wasn't that then it was the $12.00 inspection for the $75 tag renewal that our truck failed for a problem that will cost us $600 to fix. If it wasn't that then it is the fact that my husband has a wrist injury that we are having to get x-rays for and all that comes with Dr. visits. If is wasn't that then it is the fact that Steven will be starting the academy in Jan. and the first 20% is due Dec. 14th.
I know, I know...welcome to the real world. Today I found out by chance that Steven's passport is expired and we leave for our vacation with my family Dec. 7th. That means an additional $149 plus overnight payments to try to get it here in time so that we didn't waste $300.

It sounds like I am complaining and in a way I am, but this is my blog so....
I am really grateful for so many things and God's faithful provision is one of them. Here let me share a few of His smiles on us.
The court fees came from our kitchen fund. I nannied for a family while they were away and saved the money for our kitchen. When we needed the money for the wreck and court fees we used that money I had saved. That is sad since we have been without a fully working kitchen for about a year, but you can live without a kitchen. The wreck could have put points against Steven's license and then he couldn't have gotten into the academy. But the lawyer got it reduced and so he did get in. Thank you God. It sucked to have to pay that amount, but in the long run I try to look at it as an investment.
The plumber was a nice Christian man so I feel good about paying, even though I was nauseous as I wrote out the check. I feel that since he talks about his faith a lot that we are putting into the kingdom some.
The truck...well I am not sure yet because we just found out, but I know that God will help us one way or another.
The passport...we thank our friends way up North and God. They left us a generous gift as friends and for staying with us. That money will go to expediting Steven's passport. I need all of your prayers to help it get here by Dec. 4th!!!! In hind sight I wished I would have waited till next year for our family vacation, but I didn't know that we would be in this state right now so there is no sense in crying over spilled milk now. Just clean it up as my mom would say.

(DB- we haven't forgotten you guys...we will p.y.b!)

The 20% for Steven's academy...it will be a God thing.
Steven will attend Mon- Fri from 8am-5:30pm which means that he will have to quit his job. OUCH! I have been looking for another part time job to help out, but have been coming up short. Then He kisses us again! A friend of mine that I helped get a job when she moved here called me the other day. I had been searching for another part time job and she said that my name came to her three times that day. The hospital that I used to work was hiring surgical scrubs again and would I be interested? So I called and I am praying that they will give me an interview tomorrow. This will hopefully help us get Steven through the academy so that in May he can get hired on at a department. You are probably thinking "wow, why are you excited to work two jobs".. I am not.... are you crazy? But that is what has to be done. At least it is good pay and I know it already. I scrubbed in surgery for three yrs before moving here and I love it. My endometriosis is why I quit. Now that God is healing me I am not having near as many symptoms and can stand for long hours. I praise Him twice!!
It will be hard for the next couple of months, but we are no stranger to that. The ultimate goal for our family is to open our home to those who have none and for Steven to work with investigating human trafficking. This is just the road that we have to take to get there.
Seasons come and go and with each one we learn a little more. This season has been so rich in so many ways and so poor in others. But no matter we have lived, learned and are loving every minute growing as a family. Thank you Jesus that you know us and guide us through the hard times and dance with us in the good! If you think of us say a little prayer.
Thank you for reading this blog!

Vacation in Winter

We are headed to somewhere warm when it starts to get really cold here. That is right my friends, we are going on a cruise in December. I surprised Steven for his birthday/ 10 yr anniversary with a 5 day cruise to the Bahama's. In my mind I could imagine us sitting on the beach, sipping something with fruits sticking out of it and listening to the waves lull us to sleep. However that scene may be slightly different. Steven, Myself, and of course our little lamb will be cruising with my parents so the dream of sleeping in and lots of alone time my be for later in life. However my parents are going to help out with Shiloh so I am looking forward to some honey time and maybe one morning of sleeping in.
I started paying on the cruise in May and I thought that I would be so awesome and pay it off then start saving for the fun money we would spend while there. Well the cruise is payed for by the skin of our teeth and with all our financial blows these last couple months, I am not sure that there will be much fun money. No worries though. Head up...tears are wiped away because the ship has an enormous amount of fun, pools, fitness center, and so much more to keep us occupied. When on the island I have been scouting out fun and inexpensive things to do for us. Here is what I had in mind.

First port: Grand Bahama Island
There is a huge national forest there that boast the largest system of caves and underwater river systems. It is gorgeous and only $10 to get in per person. Sweet!

Freeport Market is a large shopping area with lots to see and I am not a huge shopper so it would be a good place to site see.

Deadman's shore is a place about 30 min from the main area that offers snorkeling, kayaking, and meals for $35 a person. You don't have a time limit and they will pick you up(included in the price)

Second Port: Nassau

There is a little place called Lake Nancy there that offers canoeing. The lake is only about 4 ft deep so it would be safe for the little one to join us. The rentals are by 2 hour increments and only $20. Then after that I thought we would go to the beach and just play.

Third Port: Norwegians private island

Here is the place that I just have no clue. It might just have to be a beach day. We'll see how much fun money we have to know if we can do a bunch of stuff.

No matter what, the scenery will be gorgeous, the water crystal clear, and the weather will be fine. All these combined with family will ultimately end in happiness for all!

Delivered By Hope

I think that as mother's we seem to "miss out" on so many things. I say that mostly in irony because as mother's we get to take in so much that the world is missing out on. (i.e. our children progressing and growing in God) There is so much to get done in a day and so often only half of that gets accomplished. I fell that in this season called motherhood that God has a special grace and a tender spot in His heart. It seems that when I go into the prayer room and as distracted as I am and for the short moment that I am able to be there with a 13 mo. old, that God always seems to speak directly into the depths of my heart. I can be listening to the web stream or a CD and the Lord downloads something into my spirit before a toy goes flying across the room at my head. It is like He knows the limited time frame and yet there is this precious kiss from His word that soaks into my spirit like the pine sol into the mop. (speaking in mom terms)
Today was such a day for me. I have a limited window in my day after I have showered, started the dinner, and the baby is napping. I sat down in my house robe and opened the bible to Ps 110. What an awesome reminder of who God is and what Christ is coming to do. Voluntary lovers at the end of the age worshiping Jesus in the beauty of holiness. Love that one!! Then I scroll over to another verse where it talks about the "barren" having a home. Well if that word doesn't grab your attention it is because it is not personal to you. However in my little world it is. So I find the cross reference and it takes me to Hannah's prophetic declaration after giving Samuel to the Lord. I love that passage so I back track to the beginning and read it through.
Now Last year the Lord took me on an intense journey of mourning the last 13 yrs of illness with Endometriosis and the loss that all of it brings. It was a maze of sorrow coupled with His tender mercies leading me to a place of somewhat wholeness to received our daughter. I am still in process, but it is less intense. However when I was reading through 1Samuel 1-3 I caught something that I hadn't seen before. You may not believe me when I share with you this amazing revelation, but it is true. I need to give you background for a moment before I share my epiphany.
In living with endometriosis I have had season's where the Lord would begin to deal with my heart on contending and on my emotional response. I went through scriptures and looked at the mother's of the faith and how they lived. The majority of the "mother's of the faith" were childless in the beginning. Each one went through a season of crying out, but it was how they cried out that I was looking at. I wanted to posture my heart in a way that pleased the Lord, yet didn't give in to the illness. Looking at these women I realized that I wanted to resemble Hannah in how she lived before the Lord. So I would read here and there bits of her testimony and pray it back to God. Now having said that you will understand why I feel silly for missing what I am about to tell you.
As I was reading this morning I was struck by the fact that God is answering my cry. Elka, Hannah's husband would go to Shiloh to worship the Lord. Now I knew that Shiloh was a place of worship and importance to Israel, but it struck me that God had weaved my journey with Hannah's. I now have a Shiloh and I have worshipped God for this place. I have turned from a "woman of sorrowful spirit" to joyful in the midst of mourning. It has been a lightening of the load if you will. I realized that God has given me a "place" of worship that is sacred to Him. I didn't name my daughter Shiloh because it was in this verse, but God knew my journey and wove her right into the center. So I started looking for more kisses, more hidden jewels that I missed in previous seasons. Let me tell you, it is rich. I am going to dive into some scriptures and blog the progression of digging for treasures.