Oh the things we do

I have a full day today as usual. I am currently in the Prayer Room (;-) from 6am-10am, then i am going to drive to Jefferson City, MO. which is 2 1/2 hours away. I have to go there to drop off my renters background checks for our adoption. If I take them there I can get the results in 30 min., where if I mail them in it will take up to 3 weeks. We are having our second "last" interview on Monday and I need everything turned in. Oh the things that we will do. I like to drive though because then I can listen to teachings or Cd's that I have missed and it gives me time to think. After that I need to be in KC by 3:30pm for my briefing with Dana Russell's team. After that EGS service at the missions base and then to bed. A full day for sure. I think that is pretty normal for me, I am always on the go. I do and do until I am exhausted. Little Baby Cooper will soon put a stop to that I think. I am sure that it will be a welcomed relief once I hold my little one in my arms.

In the midst of it all He is in control

This morning as I was crawling out of bed, ( I didn't get off work till after midnight) I realized that everyday brings us a little closer to having our baby. Soon I will be waking up to Baby Cooper's schedule and wondering where the days of sleeping in have gone. Every Wednesday I go to the Prayer Room and engage in a time of contemplative prayer in the Bethany Room. For those unfamiliar with the meaning of this sentence it is just a room set aside at the house of prayer for those who have chronic or fatal illnesses to receive more intense prayer. Due to my Endometriosis and infertility I made it on to the list. So from 8:30am-10:00am two wonderful friends pray over me as we meditate on the Word of God, Jesus. It is amazing, and though I have a hard time sitting still in any context I enjoy my times in the Bethany Room. The Lord has shown Himself more than once in healing me in times of discomfort, pain, and emotional distress. He is always faithful!
This morning we meditated on a classic, Isaiah 53. We focused particularly on v.5 & 11. When I meditate I see pictures, mainly because I am a very visual person. I was thinking through the movie the "Passion of the Christ" as I thanked Jesus for bearing my iniquity. That I was brought near because His flesh was torn. That as I am washed in the blood of Jesus, the accusations against me are dissolved. I stand because He put to death all emnity there was between the Father and me in His flesh. It was a real sober, yet amazing time of thinking on Jesus. V11 talks about the fact that He will see the labor of His soul and be satisfied. In my body, Jesus will see the labor of the cross and be satisfied in my complete healing! It is amazing.

Waiting on our case worker to finish our report is working patience in me. I am resisting that process a little, because I am ready to be done. I started thinking about the scripture in Ephesians 1 where we are "adopted" into the household of God. That means that God understands my plight. WOW... Jesus had to walk out a home study "process" in order to attain to the Fathers desire. He is still waiting for our fullness. I have not one reason to be anxious and angry, because my Father is still waiting for the fullness of our adoption.

Lord give me strength and grace to stand in a humble attitude of waiting. Let me be gracious and gentle as Jesus during Your "home study process".

Give me your opinion on bedding

I thought I would throw out a whimsical blog and get some feedback. I like retro fabrics a lot and I like color. Since we are not sure what the sex of our baby will be we are looking for neutral bedding. I am lucky in that my mother just happens to have a hobby of making fantastic baby bedding. Stuff that you would find on sites like http://www.poshtots.com/ and the like, she can replicate for a fraction of the price. So I put my order in and here is what I am thinking. I ordered two fitted sheets (one white and one poke-dot), a quilt, bumper pads, dust ruffle, diaper hanger, and a couple of pillows.

I figure if it is a girl we can throw in some fun flower stuff and if a boy more "manly" effects.:-)

I sent my mom on a hunt for fabric. Here are a few pics of designs that I like. Whether we can find them or not remains to be seen. Sometimes fabric comes up on eBay to. These are color options not necc. the actual bedding. Our crib is white and a little white dresser. The room will be neutral as well.

Tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions.

This is my favorite

I am not sure why, I just like it.
Just a few, I am sure that I will find more.

This weekend Steven and I will sit down

and try to find something we like.

This is the fun part!

Our "last" home study visit

I want to just start this blog with saying, things don't always go how you plan them. Our last visit for our home study was scheduled for today, the 25th, at 2pm. Our case worker Susan arrived and we sat down in our living room. I offered her something to drink and we began the questions. Every question you can imagine about our relationship, marriage, parenting, and what not. During this interview Steven became increasingly sick. Now he had just got home from California this a.m at 2am and had been resting. He was sick when he went to CA. and came home just as sick. Well as the questions continued he coughed more and felt light headed. He looked at me and told me that he couldn't go on. I asked him to push through. So like the wonderful husband that he is, he mushed on. Until suddenly he got up and went to the bathroom. There he proceeded to vomit a couple of times. I was trying to answer Susan's questions as best as I could. I didn't want to delay the process one more day. Steven came out and had me go into the bathroom where I saw what he'd been working on and I told Susan that we would have to reschedule. Unfortunately that means we have to schedule another meeting with her and her schedule is very busy.
The plot thickens...She said that she is going out of town for two weeks. So unless we can get everything down,turned in and interviews over with before the 7th of March, it could be the end of March before our home study is done. That means that our consultant cannot start matching us until the first of April. When I heard that I wanted to cry. I have been working on this since the first of December and really want it to be done. It is emotionally draining and very distracting. My anticiapation of looking for and meeting my little one is all I can think of. My baby is out there. There is a mother carrying my little one and she is trying to decide all our fates. I want my profile out there so that when she sees us, she would just know that we are the ones. I know that it is really the Lord that is in controll, so don't misunderstand me. I think that I am developing some motherly fire in me. So I emailed my consultant and told her the situation. She said that it shouldn't take that long and we'll see what she can do. I am so glad that I have someone to go to bat for me.

The home study isn't supposed to be enjoyable. It is your life being examined by someone else for permission to adopt. Nothing in there says this will be the most fun you've ever had. It is warfare also. We are rescuing a little one from who knows what to raise them in an atmosphere of loving and knowing God. The devil doesn't want that. Our finances have been hit and sickness abounds in Steven. We need a suddenly of God to come and touch this situation. Now I know that it really is all in his hands. It always has been. Maybe this is all for a purpose and Baby Cooper isn't in the mix yet. Or maybe this is the scheme of Satan to distract me. Either way I need the Lord to intervene for us.

God please come and stamp your seal of approval on this. Help me to be tender, humble, and calm while you produce patience and love in my heart. Give me clarity and hope and please speed up our case worker.

Continue to pray for us. We are keeping our chin up and hoping that soon we can get the end of the yellow brick road and find Baby Cooper.

Here we go!

Well Steven arrived safely home from Sacramento, CA. at 2am Monday morning. The conference was good, but Steven spent it sick. He was a little ill when he left last Wed. but it developed into a full blown cold while he was in CA. It rained almost everyday in Sacramento which made it a little cooler than expected. Onething leader Dwayne Roberts also spent the weekend sick with a cold. They set up a bookstore to sell t-shirts, teachings, and CD's. Luke Wood, Tim Riehmer, and Justin Rizzo lead worship and Dwayne Roberts, and Wes Martin spoke. It was a good turn out and hearts were defiantly touched through the worship and preaching. Sometimes traveling is really great and sometimes it is hard. But God showed up in Sacramento and it was a wonderful time.

We are meeting with our case worker today at 2pm for our final interview. I am nervous and hope that the house is clean enough. I am not sure exactly what she will be looking for. I have a fire extinguisher, and know all my exits. The kitchen and bathrooms are clean, the two rooms I though would matter the most as far as cleanliness. I has thought about baking some bread, but thought that might be over doing it a little. We will have some coffee and tea available and go from there. Don't worry, I will post a run down of the events that take place. Till then, blessings!

An update on our adoption

Here is the update on our adoption
We are in the final stretches as our last interview with the case worker is this Monday. She will walk through our house and check saftey and space issues. After that we'll sit down and talk about big issues like discipline, safety, insurance,etc...
After that if all is turned in, she will have our typed up report in three to five days. Once we have that approval document we can be submitted to birthmothers. There are many babies being born between now and May. That means that Baby Cooper could be home right around the corner.
Please pray for us as we are preparing our hearts and home for this joyous event. We are blessed and the Lord is good.

Time to hit the road again

It is time once again to hit the highway and start up our traveling season. Steven travels with Onething Global which is a ministry to young adults. He plays bass guitar for the worship teams that minister at each conference. This year marks a new course in "who" he plays with, but not the mission behind the ministry. For the past two years Steven has played for Merchant Band, a worship team whose primary focus is ministering to young adults through worship. At Onething 2007, Merchant Band became a name of the past as the worship leaders decided to go solo. Marcus Meier one of the leaders of Merchant Band now has four children under the age of 5 years old and is taking a leadership role in the house of prayer as a section supervisor. Tim Riehmer, the other worship leader of Merchan Band, will still travel with Onething ministries to a few of their conferences this year. Merchant Band will be recording possibly their last albumn in the studio in early March, which Steven is schedule to play on. So what is Steven doing now. Well because of his traveling experience and having played with several worship leaders at Onething gatherings, he will continue to travel as needed. Onething conferences usually have at least two to three worship leaders that play during the 3-4 day event. They each cannot take their whole band so Onething takes musicians that can play with all the different worship leaders. So before each Onething conference Steven meets with the different worship leaders and practices their arrangments. Then they hit the road so to speak for the Onthing regional tour. First stop on the Onething 2008 tour is Sacremento, CA. Check out our traveling schedule in the side bar and stay tuned for pictures and updates on how each conference goes.

Our adoption fundraiser

Our Adoption Fundraiser was a HUGE Success!

Saturday, February 9th Steven & I hosted a fundraiser for our adoption. It was more than just a fundraiser, we wanted to help raise adoption awareness and highlight some people that are really making an impact in the world of adoption. The Lord knows me and my faint attempts at planning big events so he sent us an angel named Charis Smith who planned the whole thing. I told her a few things that I wanted and she took over the rest. She worked more hours that I know on getting everyone where they needed to be, she organized a silent auction, and came up with some really creative ideas to make the night special for us. We felt like the guest of honor and it was a perfect evening.

The evening started out at 6pm as guest were welcomed in. We had free photography and a table loaded with baskets and art work for the silent auction. We had a cello and piano player adding background music so that the guest could mingle with pleasure. At 6:45pm we welcomed everyone and started serving dinner. Dinner was provided by Fizzoli's Italian resturant and a wonderful annonymous donar who paid for the food. It was a wonderful fetticini with bread sticks and a salad. During dinner Hannah York a dancer friend and teacher at Dramatic Truth Dance Studio performed a solo dance piece to "Daughters of Jerusalem" played by Jon Thurlow. After that two guest speakers Tracie Loux with Christian Adoption Consultants and Kelsey Bohlender with The Zoe Foundation shared their adoption stories and how they are involved in helping others adopt. They are personal friends and what they shared touch our hearts as well as the other guest. After that it was time to open the dessert and coffee bar.The dessert bar consisted of cakes that were from Cosco , as well as homemade cookies and other desserts. The coffee bar was donated from a local Starbucks and was a favorite with most of the guest. After most had gone through the line a musician friend that I have been to Haiti with, Joy Maves, entertained us coffee shop style. Due to some technical difficulties there were no mics so she played and sang aucustic. It was perfect for me. I wanted people to mingle and also get pictures taken. After she performed three or four songs we introduced our next guest speakers. The Wibeto sisters were a real treat that was a total God hook-up. Danielle and Darlene Wibeto have just published a children's book called "Justice loves babies". It tells the story of a little boy who loves babies, but has a nightmare that not all babies get the chance to live. He then begins to pray for babies everywhere. It is a great book with creative illustrations and a touching message. They offered to come and share the story of how the book came about, to read the book and to sell it at our event. The greatest part is that they wanted to give us all the proceeds of the book sells towards our adoption. They gave a wonderful reading of the book and directed peoples attention to their table. Afterwards many people went to buy the book and have them to sign it. The MC interview Steven and I to let the attendee's know where we were in our adoption process and then they joined together and prayed for us. It was a very moving moment when 100 guest prayed for our little baby to be safe and to come to us quickly.

After that we ended the evening with a thank you to everyone, the announcing of winners for the silent auction and a final call for photography. People stayed a little and mingled and got more dessert. The book table was a hopping place to be as well. After everyone left I took a deep breath and realized that this was all real and these people cared and really were supporting us in this.

The next day Steven and I counted up all the RSVP money as well as the donations at the banquet and silent auction proceeds. The total was astounding. We sat there amazed at what the Lord had done through a small group or interccessory missionaries and some friends and family. We had raised over $8,300. A day later the Wibeto sisters gave us a check for the proceeds of the book sells from the banquet. It was a check for $720. We were so blessed. Over the next few days more friends gave to us and in all we have raised almost $10,000. I cannot express in words how blessed and how loved we feel. It is hard to believe a month ago we started this process with $50. We were not sure what we would do about all the money but trusted that God would provide. He has exceeded out expectations and our faith is certain, that this is in the Lord's heart and that He will provide all that we need.

Thank you to all that helped in the banquet and to those who attended. It was a truly fantastic night and we are more blessed than can be expressed in words.

Why we are Adopting

Our big announcment!!!

We are so excited to announce that we are adopting our first child. We are knee deep in the process and are learning so much about adoption and about ourselves. We have about three weeks to go until we get the final approval from our case worker and then we can start looking for little baby Cooper.

Let me give you a little run down on the home study process and then the "looking" part. The home study is a 6-8 week process done through a licesened social worker that will make the determination whether you are a good canidate for adoption. You are required to turn in a mountain of paper work, background checks, physical forms, and $1000 plus after placement visit fees. It sounds like a lot, well you are right. There are at least three to four interviews with the social worker where she digs into every area of your life to see how you were raised and how you might raise a child. She will obtain your finacial records (with your permission of course) , come and look at your house and from all that will make a determination that will allow you to adopt or not. NOW... most people are approved. It is a rare circumstance that you would not get approved but it is not to say that it doesn't happen.

So we have had three interviews and have our fourth scheduled fo 2/25/08, for the case worker to come and look at our house and then interview us as a couple for at least two hours on every topic you can think of plus a few. After that it will take her a week to get our paperwork typed up and we'll move on to the "looking" phase.

The looking phase, that sounds like you are wanting to buy a house or a car. Well that is not far off of how you find your baby. You can sign with an agency , lawyer, or facilitator that actuall searches listings of babies to find you the perfect match. We have signed with a facilitator from Christian Adoption Consultants(christianadoptionconsultants.com) Her name is Tracie Loux and she is here in Kansas City. She adopted her fourth child last year and had such a wonderful experience and was so moved by adoption that she made it her job. She is also an intercessor at the International House of Prayer in KC with us that knows our life and our heart. SO... she is our advocate, our broker, our sanity line. She has a page of preferences from us (not many) and she looks based on that preference sheet. There are so many babies, hundreds that come across her screen everyday. How do you choose? That is our question. How can we look at all these little gifts from God and say "not that one, nope not that one, OH! this one". It seems so crazy to me. My heart aches at the thought of having to choose. Tracie says that we will just know. I am praying for our little one daily and that we will know.

One thing I do know is this the best thing that we have ever set out to do. It is in our hearts not just because of compassoin, but out of conviction. As we pray for America and the ending of abortion, how as believers can we not open our hearts and home for the unwanted that we are praying to save. It is our love for God that creates love for others. We in ourselves cannot love... we are wicked. BUT.. Through Christ we have love and can love. So we choose to love. What about you?

How We Met

Steven and I have a rather funny history of our meeting. We both thought that the other was someone else and that led to some awkward first impressions. After a short time of hanging out with mutual friends we quickly formed a friendship that was as tight knit as our group. In the summer of 1998 after I graduated I decided to go into a ministry called YWAM. Steven and I said our goodbyes and something tugged at both our hearts. We kept in touch through letters and emails and growing closer while we were miles apart. I Once my 6 month program was up I transferred to another YWAM location for a second round of missionary training in Kona, HI. Steven and I stayed in contact, except our conversations and emails became more serious. We started talking about feelings and what is in the future for both of us. I was a little thrown off by it all and decided to slow it down. I emailed less and made shorter calls. When I returned home, Steven was a lot different than when I had left. He had grown in so many ways and I found myself looking at him in a different light. We both got jobs at a retail store in our area, and began spending more time getting know each other again. I had returned home in July and by November our relationship was beginning to blossom. I went to Seattle for a friends wedding and Steven went shopping. When I got back a week later we picked up where we had left off and I was none the wiser. In December we went with the young adults group on a skiing trip to Red River, New Mexico. It was beautiful there and Steven was prepared with his secret gift that he had bought. On the night before we left Steven asked me if I wanted to take a walk up the street to a little coffee shop. I said yes and we headed of. It began snowing as we walked and it was beautiful. On arrival to the coffee shop we found that it was closed. So we headed back to the lodge and sat on the porch swing. After chatting for a few minutes Steven declared that he had a gift for me. I was excited though naïve. He told me that he had known for sometime that his feelings for me were sure and that someday he wanted me as his wife. I was stunned and in awe. We had never talked like this before. He then knelt down and opened a ring box. The little diamond sparkled in the light of the porch light and emotions swept over me like a flood. It was a perfect snowy night against the backdrop of the New Mexico Mountains. I said yes and from that point on it was a blur. That was December, in February we set the date and in May we were married. I am truly blessed to say that I married my best friend. We have grown so close in these 8 years and now as we are starting a family, I am excited to see what the future holds.