I am making no promises to write every day. I will write today and we will take it one day at a time. I am finding that I don't really have a consistency when if comes to writing and communication. So here we are. Time has flown and I find myself running after what feels like fleeting moments of glorious wonder. I wish that I could erase all the bad memories and just embrace the good. However life is like a box of chocolate and you just don't know what you are going to get one day from the next. This is the saga of my life. I love listening to people who have their lives mapped out for their 5, 10, 15 year plans. They know where they are going to be, and what they are going to be doing. It is inspiring and instills a sort of hope. Then there are people like me, or what has been for the last few years anyways. Dreams and plans that ....well they are still in the "vision" state. Some people are dreamers and live out their dreams. Some people are dreamers and live out the present. So here I am in the present. I still hope for my dreams and am inspired by others, but here we are in the present none the less.
Shiloh is fabulous as always. The joy in my day and the love of my life. I cannot even imagine what my life would be like without her. I could cry right now just thinking of what a misery it would be to live without her by my side. Now all mother's know that life with a toddler of three is no walk in the park everyday, but it is an adventure that I will never regret. There are moments of regret that I am to strict, too emotional, not home enough, nor rich enough to give her everything....but there is plenty of love in my heart! At three I feel that Shiloh could sit down with just about anyone and have a conversation. She frequently stops people in the stores to ask them their names and what they are doing. She can find her letters, shapes, and numbers in just about any setting, and she is very creative. Of course I think that my child is amazing and I doubt anyone would fault me for it.
Steven is still pursuing school and a job in law enforcement. He will be taking a class this fall towards finishing his associated degree. He has had some fun opportunities to go kayaking and camping this summer and we will be going again in a couple of weeks for our annual trip.
I am still working in surgery at St. Joe's and currently working on the 3pm-11pm shift. It is a great shift as I have lots of time to study my school work for my RN degree and it also lessens our babysitting bill. I love spending time with Shiloh during the day and then going to work at night. For me it is a great shift. Currently I am working on a pretty big landscaping project in our back yard that is both overwhelming and exciting. Other things in the works for me are preschool at home for Shiloh. My friend Amanda and I are going to do some stuff to help each other out and I think that it will be fun for Shiloh. She loves learning and I like to see her excel. I am tying to get into shape, but since having switched to 3-11 shift I find myself lacking in the "want to workout" department. I feel confident that it will return though.
So that is where we are. Not far from where we left off before. Like I said... there are people living their dreams and then there are people living in the present. So here I am...trying to live in the present like it was my all time favorite dream.
