Our "last" home study visit

I want to just start this blog with saying, things don't always go how you plan them. Our last visit for our home study was scheduled for today, the 25th, at 2pm. Our case worker Susan arrived and we sat down in our living room. I offered her something to drink and we began the questions. Every question you can imagine about our relationship, marriage, parenting, and what not. During this interview Steven became increasingly sick. Now he had just got home from California this a.m at 2am and had been resting. He was sick when he went to CA. and came home just as sick. Well as the questions continued he coughed more and felt light headed. He looked at me and told me that he couldn't go on. I asked him to push through. So like the wonderful husband that he is, he mushed on. Until suddenly he got up and went to the bathroom. There he proceeded to vomit a couple of times. I was trying to answer Susan's questions as best as I could. I didn't want to delay the process one more day. Steven came out and had me go into the bathroom where I saw what he'd been working on and I told Susan that we would have to reschedule. Unfortunately that means we have to schedule another meeting with her and her schedule is very busy.
The plot thickens...She said that she is going out of town for two weeks. So unless we can get everything down,turned in and interviews over with before the 7th of March, it could be the end of March before our home study is done. That means that our consultant cannot start matching us until the first of April. When I heard that I wanted to cry. I have been working on this since the first of December and really want it to be done. It is emotionally draining and very distracting. My anticiapation of looking for and meeting my little one is all I can think of. My baby is out there. There is a mother carrying my little one and she is trying to decide all our fates. I want my profile out there so that when she sees us, she would just know that we are the ones. I know that it is really the Lord that is in controll, so don't misunderstand me. I think that I am developing some motherly fire in me. So I emailed my consultant and told her the situation. She said that it shouldn't take that long and we'll see what she can do. I am so glad that I have someone to go to bat for me.

The home study isn't supposed to be enjoyable. It is your life being examined by someone else for permission to adopt. Nothing in there says this will be the most fun you've ever had. It is warfare also. We are rescuing a little one from who knows what to raise them in an atmosphere of loving and knowing God. The devil doesn't want that. Our finances have been hit and sickness abounds in Steven. We need a suddenly of God to come and touch this situation. Now I know that it really is all in his hands. It always has been. Maybe this is all for a purpose and Baby Cooper isn't in the mix yet. Or maybe this is the scheme of Satan to distract me. Either way I need the Lord to intervene for us.

God please come and stamp your seal of approval on this. Help me to be tender, humble, and calm while you produce patience and love in my heart. Give me clarity and hope and please speed up our case worker.

Continue to pray for us. We are keeping our chin up and hoping that soon we can get the end of the yellow brick road and find Baby Cooper.