December 8, 2008

Shiloh Is Turning 3!

3months that is. Officially she will be another month sweeter on December 11Th. I cannot even believe that I have a daughter first and that she is 3 months old. I have had the privilege to be her mother for three months. The other day as I was putting her to sleep I almost couldn't put her down. I was enthralled with her sweetness, her perfection, and with the daunting task of raising her without screwing her up. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to mess it up a few times. I am praying for wisdom and revelation so that it is only a few and not a lot, but I am going to mess up. My prayer is that I will not mess up on the really big things and I will teach her enough of God that when I do mess up she will turn to Him for comfort.

I am so blessed and overwhelmed to have Shiloh. I had a word before we got her in regards to her name. The Lord gave us her name and the word was that she will be peaceful and give me peace. As one who thought that I would never have a child and that I would only hold other peoples babies in the prayer room, I feel a real peace in my heart. Not that I am all healed and Shiloh has given me a reason to live. She has given me a new perspective on life and I feel that a part of my heart has been healed. But there in a longing in every woman that God designed, and that is the Hannah cry. Not everyone goes on the same journey as Hannah, but there is that cry in women for our Samuel. We as women have a reservoir in our souls and our gift is to pour it out on our children. Not everyone wants that gift and not everyone has the opportunity but none the less it is there. I have been praying the apostolic prayers lately for myself in a new way." Lord let me be rooted and grounded in your love so that I can love Shiloh like you love me. Lord give me wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of your Son, so that I can raise my daughter to love you in the midst of the growing seduction of the harlot church. Lord let your word run swiftly into my heart, like and arrow pierce me, so that I will have something of value to give to Shiloh and not mere sentiment."
So in light of that I am in process of making myself a little prayer cave. I am making a little space to study, and to dig in at my house. I know that it must take place in all the rooms of my house, but I need a place designated "House of Prayer in the House" or I will mutter through my days and at 11pm as I feed Shiloh I will realize that I may not have talked to my maker that day. That will just not do.
A sweet thing happened that is unrelated to the above, but I thought that I would share it.
I was in Wal-Mart this last week and a friend came up and asked whose baby was I holding in the prayer room. Now this friend has been in CA for three months, so she totally missed Shiloh's arrival. So as a proud mommy I said "that is my baby, Shiloh Abigail". She looked and me and I thought that she was going to cry. She told me that made her heart glad and that Shiloh was beautiful. I was fueled inside by that encounter and sobered. She is my daughter, my little person in life to raise, care for, and to train in the was of God. It is daunting and wonderful all at the same time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey! We can hold each other's babies in the prayer room!

(mostly, because your daughter is an easy to carry baby, and my chunky monkey weighs about 13lbs...)

love you and your girl. This is Jennifer by the way...

Jaki said...

Beautiful post!!

Mrs. I : )

Kristi said...

Happy 3 months Shiloh! She's such a beauty, Kristi! Hope you guys are doing well! Can you post some recent pics for her fans up north?