I am attempting once again to be a blogger, or at least a once or twice a week blogger. I love the opportunity to journal, vent, or advertise my opinion or even the latest and greatest in our lives, but find the task of actually getting to the computer and typing to be a bit ....well lacking. So here I am again for better or for worse and I appriciate your support and interaction in this process.
So here is the Where-
I feel that in the last two years we have been on a journey over and under tall mountains that I am confident lead to a wide open valley. Here is a drive by review of "where" we have been. Starting in 2010 when Steven left full time ministry to pursue law enforcement. What a transition, from playing hours a day in the house of prayer and traveling with Onething Ministry, to going through the police academy and nearly puking after the physical training sessions. During that time I was also working two jobs at differing jobs and learning to be a working mother and wife. Now that was no easy feet and I am still not positive that I would give myself any higher than a "B-" on that score. That year was a year of not only discovering a new path, but trying to figure our identity out. I feel that we had so much of who we thought we were wrapped up neatly in a package and leaving that behind was a little like shell shock. Things were re-awakening in our hearts though, things that have lead us down some interesting paths.
2011 I had hoped would be a pick me up year, but it ended up being a hand me all your time & money year. Anything that could break did and anything that could have been easy turned out to be like pulling a pipe out of a muddy ditch. (That is hard in case you don't know). My grandmother died which was very hard, and I felt like my dreams and my tenacity was dying inside a little too. Long term struggles tend to have ebs and flows that can suck you into the drain if you know what I mean. A new struggle appeared for me in the form of a scary thyroid nodule. It was detected by a friend who was " practicing " her assessment skills. I had it looked at by my doctor and the wheels were in motion. I ended up needing ultrasounds and a painful biopsy to prove that I didn't have cancer. It was nerve racking and expensive to say the least. Another learning experience. :-) I am happy to report that as of two months ago I am alright in the thyroid department, but they are monitoring me for any changes. (Prayer is always appriciated)
Towards the end of 2010 and the begining of 2011 Steven started to revisit the idea of going into the military. His job hunt in the law enforcement arena wasn't going well and in a troubled economy it wasn't looking like a win win situation. As our hearts are to expand our family he knew that there needed to be some provision and break through. The military idea or the police idea wasn't a new one for us. I remember in 2007 talking with him about it, but I wasn't ready then and was very comfortable in our IHOP life. But times were different and my understanding of how things worked was different. We had several friends in the military and watched their families deal with all that is involved in that. Steven's desire was a pure one and could provide our family with many benefits. So he started pursuing the Army first, then ended up enlisting in the Air Force reserves. That process wasn't easy and like (it seems for us anyways) all things that we try to do there were plenty of walls to throw ourselves over. Steven perservered and will be leaving in May for basic training in San Antonio.
In the realm of parenting we were lucky, Shiloh has always been cute, smart, and not very destructive. The "2's" left us thinking that we had this thing in the bag and then age 3 hit. I woke up one morning wondering if aliens had taken our sweet obedient child and replaced her with a roving, crazy girl. No matter how bad people tell you that the "2's" will be, nothing is like a talking, negotiating three year old. All reason goes out the window and what prospects of common sense that your child was showing at two, they have been replaced with impulsive behaviors that are likely to drive you mad. But it is all fun and worth every minute in my book. What a challange and learning experience parenting is. I am blessed for sure!!!!!!
Through these two years of trial by fire we have learned so much about each other, ourselves, and us as a family unit. We have really taken an eager interest in health and nutrition (Steven is a huge champoin for that in our home) and also in wanting to expand our family. I have always wanted a big family and Steven came from a family or 4 boys. We talked about comprimising with three kids when we were first married, but as time has proved thus far, we are not in control of that area. So what does any family do when they want more kids...... well we can practice till the cows come home but if we want more kids we fill out lots of paper work. That is right..... We Are Adopting Again!!
Take a breath...Ok moving on!
So here is the "When"-
Nov. 2011---We started filling out paper work
December 2011 ----We turned in an application for Hannah's Dream Adoption Agency
Jan. 2012---We got our updated home study for our second adoption!
Feb. 2012 ---We had our first Adoption Fundraiser and were overwhelmed by the love and support of our friends!! THANK YOU!
March 2012 ---I am doing some other fundraising things for our adoption, and we are also going to submit with the agency that we adopted Shiloh through.
* March 7th Steven's oldest brother and his wife will finalize the adoption of two beautiful foster children and we are going to party like it is 1999. Just kidding, but our family is going to celebrate their gotcha day like we have done for Shiloh and for Colton their other adopted son.
April 2012 --- This will be the month of celebration and preparation. If we are not placed by the third week in April with a little one, we will have to wait till Steven returns from basic training. I would love to have our new little one before he leaves, but going to recieve the baby while he is away would be mad.
*April 14th I will turn 32 years old. HOLY COW!! I still can't believe that I am that old and that my mom is that old. ;-) JK mom!
*April 22nd --This is a bitter sweet day for my heart. This is my brother's birthday, but it just reminds me of how long it has been since I have seen or will see him.
May 2012-- I think on the first of May it will all start to set in. The reality of Steven leaving will hit and I might have a little bit of a nervous break down. Just a little one. But I know that we will be OK, and that he will be home soon...
So what is the "Why"--
Why adopt again? Oh the list is too long, here is the short stack of it. Because if not than our hearts ache would just dig a whole deep in our souls that will haunt us forever. I know that sounds dramatic, but it is true. Because God loves to match up little ones with no one, and to match up big ones with small ones, to make whole ones. And also because we want to. :-)
Why the military? Many reasons and factors lead to this decision. One being a job and training that will lead to more opportunities. Another reason is health insurance and retirement benefits. Another is a challange and constant improvement for Steven's physical and mental person, which is important for a man.
Why stay in KC? We have been in Kansas City for almost 9 years now. Although we miss Arkansas and truly miss living in the country we feel that our home is here. It is hard being away from our family, but our friends here have become a second family. Our church is a huge part of our life, and just being in a city that offers so many diverse opportunities is exciting for us. Now that Steven is joining the MO. Air Force Reserves we have another reason to stay.
I have asked God so many Why's that I feel on the day of judgment he may just shew me to the side and tell me " I will deal with you in a minute".
Why am I here instead of where I want to be? Why the health issues? Why..Why...
Ultimatly I feel that most of the answers to the Why's are found in the "where" and the "when".
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6
God is truly working in our hearts and lives. I know that He is in love with us and constantly moving us closer to the full dependance on Him. He is teaching us leaning and challanging us to love beyond our life and circumstances. He is teaching us to go after the things that we believe in and then trust that He knows when and if we will arrive at them. He is healing us mind, body, and soul. He is trying to unite our hearts with unbreakable passion and cords of faith, love, and hope. He is showing us what family is and though ours may not be what we had dreamed, it can be more that we ever imagined. He is testing our faith and causing us to see that He is our provider, protector, and defender.
So there is my first of many updates. It was a little jumbled and random, but I feel that you are sorta caught up now. I have several topics that I want to write about, but that is for another day!
No comments:
Post a Comment