Garage Sale/Everything Update

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to post something about the garage sale. Thank you to everyone that donated items. We had some great stuff. We raised over $430 over the two days of the sale. I think it was very successful. I had some great helpers and with the wonderful donations many passer buyers were attracted to our site.

Jen and Angela helped me price items on Thursday, and then were there again the next day to help sale. They found some great items to display and helped weed through those that wouldn't.

There was one shopper who made me laugh. Mia came buy both days and found things that she wanted. So I held them till the next day. She came back with baby in tow and we loaded up her stroller. It was truly ingenious as we used bungee cords to strap a fire truck the front of the stroller and a dehydrator to the back. It made me laugh so hard.

So the update on everything else is this....we are still waiting and you with us. We are hoping for a call soon, if anything just for my sanity. I realized on Friday while in the prayer room that I had put God in a time machine. I set the clock and expected that when it stopped I would have my baby. Everyone said that we would have a baby in the spring. So I just put that in my heart and the closer we get to June the more nervous and anxious I become. So much so that I am literally driving myself crazy. I was reading about Hannah in 1 Samuel and it said that she wept bitterly and then I did. Her soul was in agony and Phinah the other wife wasn't helping the situation. No Steven doesn't have another wife in the basement, but my expectations torment me just like Phinah tormented Hannah. But the thing I must remember is unlike most of the matriarchal, Hannah went to God and poured out her soul. I am there, trying to pour out my soul, let go and let God. Some days all I can think about is this adoption stuff. Checking the list, trying to find more agencies to apply to. It can be an unhealthy obsession. Other days I could just cry if I think about it again. I know God is loving on me through this because people will just randomly come up and want to pray for me because God put me on their hearts. Thank you Lord!!! It helps me to refocus. Through this journey we are learning so much about each other and being prepared for parenthood in individual ways. Now I can say that we are both ready, and waiting together. That is a good feeling.

The emotional roller coaster is that it seems that we have no say in this. I cannot just say "Hey give me that baby" to an agency. First we need mega bucks. I cannot just say to a birth mother " you know you want to pick me so just do it". She has to make the hardest decision of her life and in the process know that she is granting my greatest wish. I look in the mirror sometimes and say "body what is up with you. You have a built in super computer and you can't even get this one thing right. Come on just ovulate already and make a love lodge for life". It is strange to feel that your body has hijacked you. But what can you do. It is out of my hands and in God's. Then there is the other side of my heart and brain that says that we have a huge say in this. In the high courts of Heaven, my Father knows my deepest desires. He promised in His word to give me the desires of my heart if I remain and rest in His faithfulness. SO there I am, pleading my case in court and resting in His arms.

I am just rambling now, but the bottom line is we are still praying for our little one, rejoicing with our friends who have been matched, and waiting in expectancy for our little baby Cooper. Thank you for standing with us through this. I am thankful that I have a place to express my ramblings and border line heresies with actual human feed back. We will all rejoice together when this chapter is threw and the next begins as we invite a little blessing into our home.