Tonight after talking with a friend I found out that I have become the talk of the town. I seem to cross boundaries all the time and don't have any where they are needed the most. I seem to forget taboos and often time am labeled a rebel. However this little incident for which I am rumored about is a funny misunderstanding that I find humorous and mortifying at the same time. Let me fill you in and then you can give me your thoughts.
My dear friends here in K.C., charming ladies who have walked through many things with me are throwing me a baby shower in two weeks. I am so grateful to them and am blessed really. Before leaving for our much anticipated vacation to Colorado they asked for a guest list for the shower. Now as you can imagine my mind was in the Rockies not in the Midwest, so my lazy self did what was easiest. I had an evite account from our adoption fundraiser that had plenty of email addresses in it and told them to use that. Well what I meant and what happened were two different things. I meant find the addresses from there, what happened is all 150 people on the list were invited. Simple mistake and in my mind "no big deal".
Well in the world of showers and such, that is a taboo. "Who does she think she is?" WOW!!!! " Did she invite everyone on earth that she knew"... OK well that my friends is where we are. You have been brought up to speed. I am the talk of the town.
I simply hate this kind of thing. I don't want a million presents, or money, or things. If I didn't receive one gift and 5 people showed up I would be tremendously happy and blessed. It isn't about me or our little girl. It is about what God has done and who He is. I thought that is what this shower was supposed to be about and the gift were extra. That is why we are not having games and why I am printing out a short story of where we are & how we got here. I am baffled by this sharp turn of events and miffed at the responses.
So what to do....Do I send out a retraction and let people know that it was an honest mistake and I am not a self-seeking, greedy person after all that I can get? Do I acknowledge the rumors and the tossed hair of a few people? Or do I go to my shower and pretend that I meant to invite that many people to celebrate a life coming into our hearts and into this community and say "WHATEVER" with my silent reply? I am truly baffled on what to do.
The social pleaser in me wants everyone to know the truth of the matter and for it all to be worked out. The jerk in me wants to find everyone who has an opinion about it and tell them what I think, and then the other personality that we will just call "Alice" wants to wander about as if I didn't know what was going on and be blissfully expectant just like every other mom around here that has someone on the way.
Well it is your turn to talk. What do you think I should do and to which personality should I listen to?
2 comments:
Oh, girl! Yikes! Honestly I didn't even notice when I replied to your shower how many were invited so I wouldn't have thought a thing!
Being misunderstood is no fun at all. In situations like this I mostly just care that those closet to me, that really know me understand what my true intentions were. There will always be some people who will judge us and misinterpret our actions. It feels crummy, but it's just not worth it.
Enjoy your shower! Celebrate the arrival of your little one and have fun.
I would say don't worry about what a few people think about it. Those that think it is weird and don't want to come, certainly don't have to come. Those that know you and love you won't even think twice about it.And actually thinking about it...It is not SO weird that they are invited. I mean, it is another part of your adoption journey and they are a part of your community. Perhaps it will be an opportunity to make some new friends:) Maybe say something in the evite like, Gifts optional so people don't feel obligated to bring something...I agree with Tracie, you have gone through so much to get to this point. Don't let anything steal your joy and celebration in this miracle that is happening!!!
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