Delivered By Hope

I think that as mother's we seem to "miss out" on so many things. I say that mostly in irony because as mother's we get to take in so much that the world is missing out on. (i.e. our children progressing and growing in God) There is so much to get done in a day and so often only half of that gets accomplished. I fell that in this season called motherhood that God has a special grace and a tender spot in His heart. It seems that when I go into the prayer room and as distracted as I am and for the short moment that I am able to be there with a 13 mo. old, that God always seems to speak directly into the depths of my heart. I can be listening to the web stream or a CD and the Lord downloads something into my spirit before a toy goes flying across the room at my head. It is like He knows the limited time frame and yet there is this precious kiss from His word that soaks into my spirit like the pine sol into the mop. (speaking in mom terms)
Today was such a day for me. I have a limited window in my day after I have showered, started the dinner, and the baby is napping. I sat down in my house robe and opened the bible to Ps 110. What an awesome reminder of who God is and what Christ is coming to do. Voluntary lovers at the end of the age worshiping Jesus in the beauty of holiness. Love that one!! Then I scroll over to another verse where it talks about the "barren" having a home. Well if that word doesn't grab your attention it is because it is not personal to you. However in my little world it is. So I find the cross reference and it takes me to Hannah's prophetic declaration after giving Samuel to the Lord. I love that passage so I back track to the beginning and read it through.
Now Last year the Lord took me on an intense journey of mourning the last 13 yrs of illness with Endometriosis and the loss that all of it brings. It was a maze of sorrow coupled with His tender mercies leading me to a place of somewhat wholeness to received our daughter. I am still in process, but it is less intense. However when I was reading through 1Samuel 1-3 I caught something that I hadn't seen before. You may not believe me when I share with you this amazing revelation, but it is true. I need to give you background for a moment before I share my epiphany.
In living with endometriosis I have had season's where the Lord would begin to deal with my heart on contending and on my emotional response. I went through scriptures and looked at the mother's of the faith and how they lived. The majority of the "mother's of the faith" were childless in the beginning. Each one went through a season of crying out, but it was how they cried out that I was looking at. I wanted to posture my heart in a way that pleased the Lord, yet didn't give in to the illness. Looking at these women I realized that I wanted to resemble Hannah in how she lived before the Lord. So I would read here and there bits of her testimony and pray it back to God. Now having said that you will understand why I feel silly for missing what I am about to tell you.
As I was reading this morning I was struck by the fact that God is answering my cry. Elka, Hannah's husband would go to Shiloh to worship the Lord. Now I knew that Shiloh was a place of worship and importance to Israel, but it struck me that God had weaved my journey with Hannah's. I now have a Shiloh and I have worshipped God for this place. I have turned from a "woman of sorrowful spirit" to joyful in the midst of mourning. It has been a lightening of the load if you will. I realized that God has given me a "place" of worship that is sacred to Him. I didn't name my daughter Shiloh because it was in this verse, but God knew my journey and wove her right into the center. So I started looking for more kisses, more hidden jewels that I missed in previous seasons. Let me tell you, it is rich. I am going to dive into some scriptures and blog the progression of digging for treasures.