No News is Good News???

I have never liked that phrase that "no news is good news". They say it on shows like "Grey's Anatomy" as they are anxiously waiting to here something about their loved ones who are in surgery. They comfort the other one by thinking that if no one has come out yet that all is well. Having spent three years working in surgery I know that is not true. It could be that they are elbow deep in your loved one's abdomen and haven't even thought about sending out a report, or the music is so loud in the O.R. and the doctors so distracted that the nurse just didn't bother interrupting them to get a report, or more likely your loved one isn't doing well at all and may die. No one wants to be the one to go out and tell you so they just wait to see if they are going to make it. It is morbid but true. That was mostly just rambling about how I hate that phrase but in my own waiting game I am full of anticipation to get word. I don't have to be sustained by silence however and have the luxury of calling my birth mother up and seeing how she is doing which is a blessing indeed. I am not going to lie to you though, every time I dial her number I get butterflies in my stomach and my palms start to sweat. I get so nervous that I am not going to know what to say, or that she wont feel like talking, or that something is wrong. I just pray to sweet Jesus and ask Him to help me know what to say. It is funny I know. I am a talker and well educated so it seems odd that I would clam up talking to someone on the phone, but I do. I failed the phone conversation test in the beginning miserably though & I think that I have never fully recovered. I said everything that you were not supposed to say and Steven just hung his head and laughed.

But having said all that I talked to Danielle yesterday and felt I should update all my friends near and far. ;-) She is well but very tired. She is sore and not sleeping well..."totally exhausted". I love the level of honesty that we are developing in our conversations as she tells me that she is so ready to not be pregnant. I like her a lot and feel that we could be really good friends. I hope that she changes her mind and allows for some contact after the birth. I feel that I would miss our conversations if all communication would be terminated. It seems strange to think that I am developing a friendship that may have a gap of 17 yrs in the middle before it is picked back up again. But I want to respect her every wish so that she can grieve and move on in the way that is best for her.

So I have washed all of our clothes and towels. Today I will wash the sheets and any left over laundry. We have packed a suitcase and some stuff for the baby. We are preparing for that all important call from Danielle that tells us "get in the car, your daughter is on the way". Please continue to pray for our little angel's birth. For her health and safety, for Danielle's body and soul, and for all hearts to be steady on that day.

Blessings!